[He's definitely using the sounds of Dick's breathing as a cue for what is and isn't getting a result. With his face more or less hidden in Dick's neck, Junpei's busy kissing and leaving small nips while working from one shoulder to the other and thinking of how to answer that.]
Normally I'd tell you that they're secret because wanting things and actually getting them is still...[He waves a hand to say it's a weird and complicated situation that requires more explanation than he wants to give.] There are plenty of things and reasons why I want to do things. Are you asking me to list my kinks I'd try with you? Or things I want from you in general? [He sounds like he's teasing but also like. He's unfortunately put some idle fantasizing into this because this place just does that sometimes.]
[ dick moves a bit so his knee nudge junpei a bit. he can't touch much, not if he wants to let him keep at it, but this is as close as he gets to brushing against him deliberately right now.
he doesn't want to push too hard, is the thing, but on the other hand... ]
You know I'm always up for knowing the latter. [ it's quiet. He feels like he should reiterate that much; is it truly a thread with them if dick isn't asking junpei to tell him what he Wants? but. with a smirk: ] But now I'm curious about that kink list.
[Nice to see that Dick's getting a little creative anyway. He feels that nudge and he doesn't react beyond lifting his eyebrow a bit. And it's sort of nice, maybe, that Dick's putting up with this while Junpei's sorting out all of the bullshit in his own head because he's made some progress in figuring it out.
...and then they both ruin it by being idiots because there's a flat look in response.]
I lied, I don't have a kink list and there's no list to discuss. [Huff. He's just...kind of flustered about actually listing stuff out and sometimes says stuff without thinking. Nevertheless he pulls his mouth back and his hand out of Dick's hair, letting both hands wander over Dick's chest and sides in teasing, light touches.]
So...don't think it's weird because I know it's weird, but sometimes a guy just wants a little attention. Like not even sexual attention just attention as a whole. [Needy.] You've given me a lot of stuff I want without me having to really ask and maybe that's why I haven't asked for anything else. Sleeping alone's weird now. I like when you play with my hair. Your jokes are worse than mine but they're still sort of funny in the dumbest way possible. I want...you to keep trusting me and telling me what's going on. I've had too many people make plans without telling me and disappear before I could even tell them how I felt about it. I don't want that to be a thing here.
[Akane and her 45 year plan coupled with Carlos telling Junpei only half the truth of what would happen to him here has left him with a lot of uncertainty. But he's still talking.] Coffee breaks and analyzing information and making out with you and figuring things out about you have occupied a lot of my time. In a good way. When I say I want whatever you'll give me it's not a cop-out, dude. It's the truth because I don't get close to many people anymore and I'm not really sure you do either. Wanting to matter to people as much as they matter to you is almost a stupid thing to want at all, but I definitely just. Want.
[This probably explains everything and nothing all at once. So...to brush off that incredibly awkward and loaded explanation, he grins instead.] ...and I would've said yes to your exhibitionism square last week if you really want to know.
[ dick isn't sure what to say to all of that. he'd listened, intent, the entire time-- wasn't sure he'd even breathed through it. it explains a lot, yes, but...
dick is close to people, but none of them are good at putting feelings to words or at understanding them in the first place. dick's probably the best of the lot, and he's bad at it. after hearing this, everything he thinks to say in response is inadequate. he wonders idly if junpei could feel his heart going faster through that explanation.
dick's hands are tied, but junpei's not over his neck anymore, so the first thing dick thinks to do is-- to surge forward, to try and kiss him, deep, but brief. he hasn't let himself think about things for a while, and he can't...he still doesn't know if he can afford to try and think of something like this. if it'll mean anything in another fourteen days. still: ]
You do matter to me. ... A lot.
[ it's quiet and honest, against junpei's mouth. ]
[He thinks about Akane. He thinks about Akane because of course he does, and it's like he said to someone else. He does and always will love her, but...in a history like this, is it so bad to acknowledge that maybe there are feelings for another person, too? There are too many aspects of himself that don't always fit together but at least here he can try to understand things.
Maybe it won't matter when they leave, but at the same time he knows that he, at least, will remember this. It's why he bends to meet Dick for that kiss, holding himself over him and letting it linger for a bit before settling back just enough.]
...glad we're on the same page then. [There's a brief sort of nuzzle to his face because this is one of the most anxiety-inducing things he's done on this damn ship.] There are still things I haven't told you and maybe I don't want to because I'm selfish. But it's...[A shrug.] Kinda been a thing for a while.
[ part of dick wants to ask how long is a while, exactly... but he doesn't, just takes in a slow breath, nuzzling back. dick is so, so weak to people wanting him, is the thing. needing him. and-- and maybe he's been weak to junpei for a while himself. and maybe he doesn't want to think about either of that still, so: he goes with the flow.
he smiles at him, a bit soft ]
... It's okay if you don't tell me everything. Everyone's allowed their secrets, remember? [ that part's important. ]
[He's deadass not ready to admit how long this might've been a thing, so maybe it's best Dick doesn't ask. They're pretty much two sides of the same needy coin because Junpei thinks about his argument with Tamamo, about wanting to fix everything and help her. He wants to be wanted and needs to be needed, so to speak, to give him an idea and a purpose for life. For a while, he spent so much time going through the motions of living. Having a goal has always helped. He's still leaning in as much as he can, hand running over his cheek again.]
Yeah. And I've told you enough fucked-up stuff about me that I think maybe the rest might be too much sometimes. [The last thing he wants is to crumble the house of cards he's precariously built since arriving here. Then again, he thinks about what Beck told him and even though she never gave a name, he's not stupid. He...figured it out, and he wonders, again, if he's being selfish. But instead of dwelling on that there's another kiss.] ...but you've stuck around this long so I should probably trust you a little more.
[ dick kisses back with a considering hum, though when junpei pulls back, he's got his eyebrow raised in amusement ]
Probably. Doubt there's anything you could say that could scare me off.
[ it's cocky, and it's teasing, because dick doesn't want to admit that there's plenty about himself junpei doesn't know, either. that he's not willing to share with anyone. but also because it's true, and he figures junpei should hear it. ]
[He makes a face but he doesn't seem bothered otherwise.]
That...is one challenge I'm not going to take. [Well. That's how you know Junpei's serious about this, at least. But the look on his face gives way to something a little more fond and his hands slide further down, resting on Dick's abs as he leans in again.] But that helps.
with junpei leaning in dick's the one who closes the gap to kiss him again, though it's quick, and he keeps going, from his lips to the corner of his mouth to his chin, looking up with bright eyes under his eyelashes as he does so. he speaks in between kisses: ]
Don't... have to take it. [ he nips at junpei's throat when he gets there ] It's still true.
[Thanks, he's very happy about that. He's busy more or less tracing the lines of his abs and also teasing at the waistband of Dick's boxers despite the fact he's still looking at his face. Or, like, was until the kissing starts and he finds himself letting his eyes close even while he grins in response. For once in his goddamn life he actually looks very relaxed.]
Maybe you were right. [He tilts his head back just a bit to let Dick bite at his throat for however long he wants.] I am lucky. [Granted this was said after Dick called him a fortune cookie but it's fine. It's fine because he's also letting both hands slide into Dick's boxers to smooth over his hips and toward his thighs but still mindful of the injured one. Let's. Not touch that.]
[ he drags his teeth a bit down junpei's throat before nuzzling him a bit, humming when he feels junpei's hands slide down lower. he hasn't exactly forgotten why his hands are tied, but it's also been more of a backburner issue considering...
considering. ]
You've got me tied up in bed and it's only now you think so?
[ it's low and teasing again, though it's followed by a softer kiss at the juncture of junpei's neck and shoulder ]
[Considering. His hands aren't moving as rushed as they have before when they've found themselves desperate for relief of some kind, but it's something to try and something to tease and something to drive the point home that it's Different, this time, for reasons he still doesn't know entirely how to explain.
Except the kiss gets a quiet sound from him and he shakes his head.]
Yeah, maybe. [He opens an eye to look at him.] But you're probably luckier. [And that's all he says before he kisses his lips again and starts working his way down over his neck and shoulders to his chest.]
[ dick responds to the kiss when he can-- but then junpei's moving down his neck to his chest and he's stuck sitting letting him without touching, again, and there's a soft hum as he looks at him. ]
[There's a very smug look.] Yeah, that's why it was sort of a surprise. [He's 100% aware this is unlike what Dick probably expects, but maybe don't ask what Junpei wants next time. ...give him a second to lick at his abs though.]
It's like a compliment, yeah. [And one hand moves over to Dick's length instead of just messing around this time.] Even if I like knowing things and want to know everything, it's like I told Nikkari. I like the mystery of things. The unexpected, if you will.
[ again, they're very nice abs, and junpei can probably feel them ripple under the lick. there's a low laugh that turns into a quick intake when junpei finally touches him, and his legs spread that little bit more by reflex ]
[...he's also impatient so he's just helping himself and rolling down Dick's boxers for better access, otherwise still moving his mouth down even while stroking him with his other hand.]
You're difficult, actually. But I think I told you so a while ago. ["Have I ever mentioned my type is "difficult"?" Haha. He doesn't slow down in between the words and actions before he licks at the inside of Dick's good thigh.]
[ alright, there's a definite pleased hum there, and dick's eyes are half-lidded as he watches junpei. he was already at least half-hard, but it's quick to go past that when he starts being touched. ]
Vaguely remember that... [ it's teasing ] Guess I can live with difficult.
You don't really get an option. [Almost-cheerfully said, but at least he's letting himself bite very lightly at Dick's leg before he uses a hand to hold him steady and draws the flat of his tongue over the head.]
[ dick can't help but try and buck into it, biting off a soft moan. his tied up hands are bunching up the covers behind him as he tenses. the not-touching is difficult in a way dick hadn't expected, really. ]
Yeah, I'm... starting to get that.
[ it's not a complaint, since it's accompanied by a smile, but it's still wry ]
[He doesn't reply with words, but he looks up from where the head is resting on his tongue and just gives him a look that clearly spells out a want of some kind before he focuses on the task at hand. With one hand working over the shaft where he can't fit his mouth around it, the other seems to have settled into kneading at his hip while he hollows his cheeks and slides his lips down a few inches.
There's a plan here. But for now the plan is to see how Dick does without being able to really touch him. He absolutely helps matters by letting his tongue drag along the underside before sucking and tightening his mouth. Suffer, Grayson.]
[ he is, but also, he isn't?dick bites at his lip, looking up at the ceiling for a second before looking back down at junpei. there's a low, appreciative moan at his ministrations that dick doesn't bother trying to muffle this time. ]
You've gotten ... pretty good at that.
[ it's half praise, half tease, and he cants his hips a little as if it could make junpei take him in faster ]
[The moan is nice, thanks Dick. The moan is nice and Dick's hips move but Junpei relaxes his throat enough to take him in further. There's an inquisitive hum, light vibrations sent up around the length in his mouth and he soon pulls his head back before dropping down again. It doesn't take long for him to fall into an easy rhythm, a little eager to please but still teasing and sucking where he can. Yeah, he's gotten much better at this, and it's why he's steadily taking him in even with the harsh breaths through his nose to keep from choking.]
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Normally I'd tell you that they're secret because wanting things and actually getting them is still...[He waves a hand to say it's a weird and complicated situation that requires more explanation than he wants to give.] There are plenty of things and reasons why I want to do things. Are you asking me to list my kinks I'd try with you? Or things I want from you in general? [He sounds like he's teasing but also like. He's unfortunately put some idle fantasizing into this because this place just does that sometimes.]
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he doesn't want to push too hard, is the thing, but on the other hand... ]
You know I'm always up for knowing the latter. [ it's quiet. He feels like he should reiterate that much; is it truly a thread with them if dick isn't asking junpei to tell him what he Wants? but. with a smirk: ] But now I'm curious about that kink list.
[ he's gotta go. for the tease ]
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...and then they both ruin it by being idiots because there's a flat look in response.]
I lied, I don't have a kink list and there's no list to discuss. [Huff. He's just...kind of flustered about actually listing stuff out and sometimes says stuff without thinking. Nevertheless he pulls his mouth back and his hand out of Dick's hair, letting both hands wander over Dick's chest and sides in teasing, light touches.]
So...don't think it's weird because I know it's weird, but sometimes a guy just wants a little attention. Like not even sexual attention just attention as a whole. [Needy.] You've given me a lot of stuff I want without me having to really ask and maybe that's why I haven't asked for anything else. Sleeping alone's weird now. I like when you play with my hair. Your jokes are worse than mine but they're still sort of funny in the dumbest way possible. I want...you to keep trusting me and telling me what's going on. I've had too many people make plans without telling me and disappear before I could even tell them how I felt about it. I don't want that to be a thing here.
[Akane and her 45 year plan coupled with Carlos telling Junpei only half the truth of what would happen to him here has left him with a lot of uncertainty. But he's still talking.] Coffee breaks and analyzing information and making out with you and figuring things out about you have occupied a lot of my time. In a good way. When I say I want whatever you'll give me it's not a cop-out, dude. It's the truth because I don't get close to many people anymore and I'm not really sure you do either. Wanting to matter to people as much as they matter to you is almost a stupid thing to want at all, but I definitely just. Want.
[This probably explains everything and nothing all at once. So...to brush off that incredibly awkward and loaded explanation, he grins instead.] ...and I would've said yes to your exhibitionism square last week if you really want to know.
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dick is close to people, but none of them are good at putting feelings to words or at understanding them in the first place. dick's probably the best of the lot, and he's bad at it. after hearing this, everything he thinks to say in response is inadequate. he wonders idly if junpei could feel his heart going faster through that explanation.
dick's hands are tied, but junpei's not over his neck anymore, so the first thing dick thinks to do is-- to surge forward, to try and kiss him, deep, but brief. he hasn't let himself think about things for a while, and he can't...he still doesn't know if he can afford to try and think of something like this. if it'll mean anything in another fourteen days. still: ]
You do matter to me. ... A lot.
[ it's quiet and honest, against junpei's mouth. ]
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Maybe it won't matter when they leave, but at the same time he knows that he, at least, will remember this. It's why he bends to meet Dick for that kiss, holding himself over him and letting it linger for a bit before settling back just enough.]
...glad we're on the same page then. [There's a brief sort of nuzzle to his face because this is one of the most anxiety-inducing things he's done on this damn ship.] There are still things I haven't told you and maybe I don't want to because I'm selfish. But it's...[A shrug.] Kinda been a thing for a while.
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he smiles at him, a bit soft ]
... It's okay if you don't tell me everything. Everyone's allowed their secrets, remember? [ that part's important. ]
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Yeah. And I've told you enough fucked-up stuff about me that I think maybe the rest might be too much sometimes. [The last thing he wants is to crumble the house of cards he's precariously built since arriving here. Then again, he thinks about what Beck told him and even though she never gave a name, he's not stupid. He...figured it out, and he wonders, again, if he's being selfish. But instead of dwelling on that there's another kiss.] ...but you've stuck around this long so I should probably trust you a little more.
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Probably. Doubt there's anything you could say that could scare me off.
[ it's cocky, and it's teasing, because dick doesn't want to admit that there's plenty about himself junpei doesn't know, either. that he's not willing to share with anyone. but also because it's true, and he figures junpei should hear it. ]
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That...is one challenge I'm not going to take. [Well. That's how you know Junpei's serious about this, at least. But the look on his face gives way to something a little more fond and his hands slide further down, resting on Dick's abs as he leans in again.] But that helps.
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with junpei leaning in dick's the one who closes the gap to kiss him again, though it's quick, and he keeps going, from his lips to the corner of his mouth to his chin, looking up with bright eyes under his eyelashes as he does so. he speaks in between kisses: ]
Don't... have to take it. [ he nips at junpei's throat when he gets there ] It's still true.
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Maybe you were right. [He tilts his head back just a bit to let Dick bite at his throat for however long he wants.] I am lucky. [Granted this was said after Dick called him a fortune cookie but it's fine. It's fine because he's also letting both hands slide into Dick's boxers to smooth over his hips and toward his thighs but still mindful of the injured one. Let's. Not touch that.]
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considering. ]
You've got me tied up in bed and it's only now you think so?
[ it's low and teasing again, though it's followed by a softer kiss at the juncture of junpei's neck and shoulder ]
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Except the kiss gets a quiet sound from him and he shakes his head.]
Yeah, maybe. [He opens an eye to look at him.] But you're probably luckier. [And that's all he says before he kisses his lips again and starts working his way down over his neck and shoulders to his chest.]
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... Maybe that deck was rigged in my favor.
[ it's cheeky and sappy all at once! bonus ]
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You could've just said you lost on purpose. [But he settles with another kiss before he continues his way down.] You're so...much. You know that?
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It's like a compliment, yeah. [And one hand moves over to Dick's length instead of just messing around this time.] Even if I like knowing things and want to know everything, it's like I told Nikkari. I like the mystery of things. The unexpected, if you will.
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So... I'm mysterious and unexpected?
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You're difficult, actually. But I think I told you so a while ago. ["Have I ever mentioned my type is "difficult"?" Haha. He doesn't slow down in between the words and actions before he licks at the inside of Dick's good thigh.]
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Vaguely remember that... [ it's teasing ] Guess I can live with difficult.
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You don't really get an option. [Almost-cheerfully said, but at least he's letting himself bite very lightly at Dick's leg before he uses a hand to hold him steady and draws the flat of his tongue over the head.]
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Yeah, I'm... starting to get that.
[ it's not a complaint, since it's accompanied by a smile, but it's still wry ]
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There's a plan here. But for now the plan is to see how Dick does without being able to really touch him. He absolutely helps matters by letting his tongue drag along the underside before sucking and tightening his mouth. Suffer, Grayson.]
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You've gotten ... pretty good at that.
[ it's half praise, half tease, and he cants his hips a little as if it could make junpei take him in faster ]
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