[ dick leans a bit into him when junpei sits down next to him, reflexively, but he shakes his head. ]
Nah. [ the arousal's there-- he'd be lying if it wasn't-- but it's bearable, and he wants-- he lets out a low sigh and moves his leg so it's touching junpei's just that little bit more. ] I'm good right now. Raincheck?
[ would he be willing to again later, is the implicated question, even outside circumstances ]
[Now that his brain's less fuzzy and he's less aroused he's paying attention to his surroundings. For someone who's been trained to pay attention to even slight movements, he sees how Dick moves and feels the shift of his leg. Wordlessly, he lifts one shoulder enough. It's an invitation to lean if he wants. Whatever. ]
...yeah. Is that weird? [It's a question he's been asking a lot lately, but now isn't the time to dissect everything. He's just kind of glad to be alive. ]
[ he does absolutely lean and, in fact, seeming to relax and unwind when he does. dick hums at the question, seemingly thinking it over before shrugging one shoulder ]
I don't know that I'm the right guy to ask, dude. I've got a few working "friends with benefits" relationships back home. [ he smirks a bit ] I wouldn't say it's any weirder than anything else that's happened to us on this ship, though.
[Well okay. He lets this happen, doing nothing to push him off and instead trying to accommodate for the extra weight to make them both comfy like this. He can't see the ruins behind him and instead he stares at the pool and the hot tubs in front of them.]
Of course it's a few. [He doesn't sound bothered or impressed. It's more like a fact.] You could be right. [There's a pause and he lifts a hand, gesturing to his own head.] It's a mess up here, so sometimes...it's hard to tell.
[He hates being anywhere near remotely vulnerable but after everything he figures he can at least say that.] It's been a long week and it's only Thursday.
[ he digs an elbow lightly into junpei's side for that matter of fact dig, but doesn't verbally defend himself. as for his comment about his head being a mess...
he knows a thing or two about that. not in the way junpei means, but. different messes, similar overthinking results, maybe. he's not sure what to say about it. ]
Ugh, don't remind me. [ so he concentrates on the part about it being a long week-- ] It feels like way longer. And we've still got the mess of the weekend to look forward to. [ there's an edge to his voice-- because someone will die and he can't stop it, and he's been on edge all week because of it-- before he sighs ] Anticipanxiety. That's what it feels like.
[He feels the dig and there's a half-grin. It's well deserved on both parts. He doesn't mind Dick side-stepping the comment because as far as he's concerned it's his own mess to figure out, but the made-up word gets a short laugh from him.]
Yeah. Anticipanxiety is a great way to describe it. [Someone will die tomorrow and he wonders what it was all for then. What did they go through that entire mess for if someone was bound to die anyway? He's not going to lie and say that maybe it won't happen. He trusts Dick to be a realist.] ...whatever happens this weekend, we'll figure something out. Pretty sure you're safe and I'm safe, but...[...something's sticking in his head but he doesn't want to verbalize it and bring down the mood.] Ever feel selfish for just wanting everything to stop for five minutes?
[ dick is. more than okay with the subject change, though he looks up a bit at the sky to think. ]
Superhero, remember? Constantly. [ it's a joke and a bad one, and he hesitates for a second before admitting, a bit quiet: ] I was-- before winding up here, I was taking a... a leave of absence. Not from the whole hero thing, but--a big part, that I'd-- that I'd been a part of for years. [ he grins, but it's mostly melancholy ] So much for that, right?
[Are they...bonding? He doesn't respond right away because it does, in fact, explain some things. He doesn't know how long years are but he assumes it's been a lot longer than his own stuff.]
...can't say I blame you, you know? [He kind of wants to ask why, but doesn't. Maybe it's not right for that.] I thought I was done playing the action hero, but...then we came here.
[...] You get why I prefer you to Nightwing, don't you?
[ he can't resist the quip, even though he's glad junpei isn't asking, because he really doesn't want to talk about wally right now. or-- well, ever. still, the question throws him for a loop. ]
Not... really? [ he lifts his hands up a bit to stare at them ] I get the principle of it, but-- I'm the same. Mask or no mask. I kept it a lot more separate as a kid, but I don't... This is kind of my full-time job.
[ it's hard to explain, because so many other heroes have-- day jobs, or college, but the second he could dick went all in as nightwing. between his own city and the team, he didn't have a lot of spare time. ]
Maybe, but I'm a great Marty McFly. [It's equally thrown out there, if only because it's an easy comparison. On the other hand he didn't think he'd have to explain so he stares at his feet stretched out in front of him.]
...ah. I get it. [Whatever he gets, he doesn't share and he shakes his head.] Kind of one of those things where you accept all or nothing, then. Guess I'm still trying to figure out who you are.
Chea-ting. [ in a sing-song? ] Back to the Future was sci-fi, not an action flick. [ of course he's pedantic about that? and it's also a good distraction from. that question. he's quiet for a bit. ]
Maybe I am, too. [ the pause for the team had been an attempt at... maybe doing things differently. he'd been grieving, and he needed a break, and he needed-- who's dick grayson, ultimately? nightwing doesn't want to be batman, great. so who is he? he'd separated the hero, but hadn't really thought about much else. hadn't had the time. and this is a very gloomy personal subject so let's veer the fuck away from it-- ] Well, Dick Grayson fun fact number one: I was in a circus.
I miss movies. [He's not good at dropping subjects that work as distractions. So he just kind of responds to everything that's said. However, he's also patiently waiting for Dick to work out whatever he's thinking, even if he shifts just enough to let him lean more if he wants.
He also clings to the subject change, because that's not entirely unexpected either. He rolls with it, turning his head just slightly to look at him and laughing, a low, quiet sound almost in his ear.]
That would explain why you're so...[He moves an arm in a wiggle, likely meant to mean "bendy."] And that's where acrobatics came from?
[ what he wouldn't give for a working connection right now. but if they're going for that subject change-- and the grin on his face is sly at junpei's wiggled arm movement for bendy-- he'll go for it. ]
Yep. It was a family thing-- we were aerialists. [ past tense, but he doesn't bother explaining, moving on-- ] The flips worked out surprisingly well incorporated into crime fighting.
And video games. [He's not even homesick, he just hates this fucking boat. And he misses a life he had before everything went batshit, but nobody needs to know that. There's a playful lift of his eyebrows when he sees that grin, but he's also working an angle here and keeping hold of the subject.]
Fancy terminology and everything. Call me impressed. [But that doesn't surprise him either.] You can clear some long distances and drops that way, if the physics are right. I...have never really been that graceful. Pretty sure if I tried a flip I'd crack my skull open.
You have to start smaller than flips if you want your bones in one piece. [ and he knew the question was coming, knows it's bound to happen whenever he mentions the circus, and-- he'll always be upset about it, but he likes the older memories too much to not even attempt to share those, so: ] My family was murdered when I was nine. During a show. One of the people in the crowd that night was a superhero. He took me in, helped me bring the guy responsible to justice. I've been doing this since.
[ he's staring at his hands. it's been a decade, now. he's been without his family-- with batman-- longer than with. it's wild to think about. ]
[...well. That also explains some things, but unlike everything else it does actually surprise him. He grows quiet again, processing that information and tucking it away in some Dick-Grayson-Shaped file in his head. He doesn't say "I'm sorry" because it seems insincere, especially for something so long ago and something that impactful.
So instead, he tips his head a bit to rest on Dick's and stares at his feet while Dick stares at his own hands. He's hard-pressed to ever be openly affectionate, but time and effort means sometimes he'll make an attempt.
Where do you go from there...?]
Makes sense then. Habits are a hard thing to break. [Being a hero full time, he means.]
Maybe. But I like doing it, and I'm good at it. [ and, to break off the tension from his little reveal-- ] Incidentally, also true of other things you've experienced first hand.
[He opens his mouth to say something and immediately decides not to reveal one of his kinks and changes the subject.]
And it took me almost two week to learn. Looks like I'm slacking. [He can do quips. That's fine. He's 100% not sure what to do here so he'll follow the beat Dick sets.]
[ share your kinks, coward, dick's feeling a little exposed right now. he huffs a little instead, nudging junpei's foot with his own ]
Yeah, detective. Where's your work ethic at? [ but he won't just fake roast junpei, adding-- ] But I guess we've both been neglecting the "get to know you" part of roommate duties.
[No!! His kinks are staying right where they belong, they can talk about how Junpei's response was about compliments and praise kinks when they unlock new s-links. He nudges back with his foot, a thin smile on his face and still looking unsure where the line of saying things is. ]
Escha's got us both beat by constantly bringing us snacks. [There's an almost fondness to his tone before he frowns.] It's been a while since I've done this. I'm out of practice. And maybe you're not the only one who sucks at sharing.
[Has he bothered asking or concerning himself with Dick's tattoo? Nope. And he's not asking for explanation now.]
I already told her she was my favorite roommate. [ it's said very solemnly, because it is? a fact. Dick tenses a bit at the reminder of his magic tattoo, but doesn't move otherwise, looking wry again. ] I wasn't requesting anything. Talking to a guy with a secret identity, remember? You could always practice sharing to the mirror, dude, we'll probably hear you anyway.
[ because junpei mumbles his thoughts out loud a lot ]
Yeah, well, she deserves that. [Escha is a good girl who did nothing but suffer with these two. He doesn't seem to know what to think, but he at least looks a little embarrassed being called out on that.]
Sorry. Habits are a thing. [He says nothing about talking to a mirror because he thinks of what Hizamaru said a week ago. "If your painting could talk, what would it say?" His would say a lot he doesn't need to hear.] Let me ask you something. What are you requesting?
Nothing. I was joking. [ he sounds amused and-- a little sorry. he'd meant it as a tease, not as an actual call-out. ] I've spent years working with people who don't even know my name, JT. I'm self-aware enough to not actually throw stones from glass houses.
[He raises an eyebrow, not entirely dissuaded. He doesn't seem bothered because it was a real question. He doesn't mind requests and he's good with instructions when it's something he invests in.]
Requests were open for anything, but if you're really sure...[A soft shrug. He won't take the offer back just yet. ] I ruined my chance at a secret ID a while ago. [It has nothing to do with anything but he thinks about codenames and Akane and the nonary game because of course he does.]
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Nah. [ the arousal's there-- he'd be lying if it wasn't-- but it's bearable, and he wants-- he lets out a low sigh and moves his leg so it's touching junpei's just that little bit more. ] I'm good right now. Raincheck?
[ would he be willing to again later, is the implicated question, even outside circumstances ]
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...yeah. Is that weird? [It's a question he's been asking a lot lately, but now isn't the time to dissect everything. He's just kind of glad to be alive. ]
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I don't know that I'm the right guy to ask, dude. I've got a few working "friends with benefits" relationships back home. [ he smirks a bit ] I wouldn't say it's any weirder than anything else that's happened to us on this ship, though.
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Of course it's a few. [He doesn't sound bothered or impressed. It's more like a fact.] You could be right. [There's a pause and he lifts a hand, gesturing to his own head.] It's a mess up here, so sometimes...it's hard to tell.
[He hates being anywhere near remotely vulnerable but after everything he figures he can at least say that.] It's been a long week and it's only Thursday.
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he knows a thing or two about that. not in the way junpei means, but. different messes, similar overthinking results, maybe. he's not sure what to say about it. ]
Ugh, don't remind me. [ so he concentrates on the part about it being a long week-- ] It feels like way longer. And we've still got the mess of the weekend to look forward to. [ there's an edge to his voice-- because someone will die and he can't stop it, and he's been on edge all week because of it-- before he sighs ] Anticipanxiety. That's what it feels like.
[ that's not a word. ]
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Yeah. Anticipanxiety is a great way to describe it. [Someone will die tomorrow and he wonders what it was all for then. What did they go through that entire mess for if someone was bound to die anyway? He's not going to lie and say that maybe it won't happen. He trusts Dick to be a realist.] ...whatever happens this weekend, we'll figure something out. Pretty sure you're safe and I'm safe, but...[...something's sticking in his head but he doesn't want to verbalize it and bring down the mood.] Ever feel selfish for just wanting everything to stop for five minutes?
[A subject change is fine.]
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Superhero, remember? Constantly. [ it's a joke and a bad one, and he hesitates for a second before admitting, a bit quiet: ] I was-- before winding up here, I was taking a... a leave of absence. Not from the whole hero thing, but--a big part, that I'd-- that I'd been a part of for years. [ he grins, but it's mostly melancholy ] So much for that, right?
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...can't say I blame you, you know? [He kind of wants to ask why, but doesn't. Maybe it's not right for that.] I thought I was done playing the action hero, but...then we came here.
[...] You get why I prefer you to Nightwing, don't you?
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[ he can't resist the quip, even though he's glad junpei isn't asking, because he really doesn't want to talk about wally right now. or-- well, ever. still, the question throws him for a loop. ]
Not... really? [ he lifts his hands up a bit to stare at them ] I get the principle of it, but-- I'm the same. Mask or no mask. I kept it a lot more separate as a kid, but I don't... This is kind of my full-time job.
[ it's hard to explain, because so many other heroes have-- day jobs, or college, but the second he could dick went all in as nightwing. between his own city and the team, he didn't have a lot of spare time. ]
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...ah. I get it. [Whatever he gets, he doesn't share and he shakes his head.] Kind of one of those things where you accept all or nothing, then. Guess I'm still trying to figure out who you are.
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Maybe I am, too. [ the pause for the team had been an attempt at... maybe doing things differently. he'd been grieving, and he needed a break, and he needed-- who's dick grayson, ultimately? nightwing doesn't want to be batman, great. so who is he? he'd separated the hero, but hadn't really thought about much else. hadn't had the time. and this is a very gloomy personal subject so let's veer the fuck away from it-- ] Well, Dick Grayson fun fact number one: I was in a circus.
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He also clings to the subject change, because that's not entirely unexpected either. He rolls with it, turning his head just slightly to look at him and laughing, a low, quiet sound almost in his ear.]
That would explain why you're so...[He moves an arm in a wiggle, likely meant to mean "bendy."] And that's where acrobatics came from?
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[ what he wouldn't give for a working connection right now. but if they're going for that subject change-- and the grin on his face is sly at junpei's wiggled arm movement for bendy-- he'll go for it. ]
Yep. It was a family thing-- we were aerialists. [ past tense, but he doesn't bother explaining, moving on-- ] The flips worked out surprisingly well incorporated into crime fighting.
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Fancy terminology and everything. Call me impressed. [But that doesn't surprise him either.] You can clear some long distances and drops that way, if the physics are right. I...have never really been that graceful. Pretty sure if I tried a flip I'd crack my skull open.
...when'd the crime fighting start?
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[ he's staring at his hands. it's been a decade, now. he's been without his family-- with batman-- longer than with. it's wild to think about. ]
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So instead, he tips his head a bit to rest on Dick's and stares at his feet while Dick stares at his own hands. He's hard-pressed to ever be openly affectionate, but time and effort means sometimes he'll make an attempt.
Where do you go from there...?]
Makes sense then. Habits are a hard thing to break. [Being a hero full time, he means.]
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Maybe. But I like doing it, and I'm good at it. [ and, to break off the tension from his little reveal-- ] Incidentally, also true of other things you've experienced first hand.
[ quips!!! ]
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And it took me almost two week to learn. Looks like I'm slacking. [He can do quips. That's fine. He's 100% not sure what to do here so he'll follow the beat Dick sets.]
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Yeah, detective. Where's your work ethic at? [ but he won't just fake roast junpei, adding-- ] But I guess we've both been neglecting the "get to know you" part of roommate duties.
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Escha's got us both beat by constantly bringing us snacks. [There's an almost fondness to his tone before he frowns.] It's been a while since I've done this. I'm out of practice. And maybe you're not the only one who sucks at sharing.
[Has he bothered asking or concerning himself with Dick's tattoo? Nope. And he's not asking for explanation now.]
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[ because junpei mumbles his thoughts out loud a lot ]
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Sorry. Habits are a thing. [He says nothing about talking to a mirror because he thinks of what Hizamaru said a week ago. "If your painting could talk, what would it say?" His would say a lot he doesn't need to hear.] Let me ask you something. What are you requesting?
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Requests were open for anything, but if you're really sure...[A soft shrug. He won't take the offer back just yet. ] I ruined my chance at a secret ID a while ago. [It has nothing to do with anything but he thinks about codenames and Akane and the nonary game because of course he does.]
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he kicks at junpei's foot again like an asshole. ]
Alright, if you're gonna twist my arm about it. [ this is definitely what happened? ] What's that about?
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