[... Admittedly, hearing any apology (deserved or not) goes a long way into softening her features]
To your credit, I doubt there would have been a right way.
[...]
Junpei... I'm not the true Tamamo no Mae. She resides in an ethereal plane known as the Throne of Heroes. There, all types of figures who have made their mark on history reside, until they are summoned or called down upon the world to defend it.
Consider me more of a... projection of her, as the world would likely not be able to handle her full existence. [A shrug]
And as a projection, I have almost no bearing on the original. Should I die, Tamamo no Mae will continue to exist, and be summoned again. Over and over.
[Rearranging her hands on her lap, sighing, before she reaches over and takes a cookie for herself]
But it takes a miracle to be summoned. Every second is a gift to us Servants. It's why even knowing I am expendable, I wanted to make my wish come true somehow...
[...]
Though as previously mentioned, the requirements to keep me in the realm of the living are... steep. You'd need magic circuits, first off, and even then, most humans would buckle under the pressure of maintaining me. It'd be one thing if we were in the middle of a Holy Grail War -- then, at least, my purpose would be to protect you and win our battles, while you kept my existence stable. But during times of peace the benefit is...
[-- nonexistent, she wants to say, but Tamamo is trying not to make the same mistakes, either]
...aren't you the one who said that you believed if we were fighting in a Holy Grail War, I'd be the one who could summon you? [It's nothing accusatory or even really argumentative. It's just a statement, an inquiry, and he's contemplating his options here.]
You...aren't the first person I've saved. You aren't even the first person I've saved who wasn't a full, true version of yourself. [...] Sometimes you have to believe in miracles even when it's never really about that. There s always a universe where things work the way they're supposed to.
I meant under the most ideal of conditions! And if you were a magus. Which you are not, to my knowledge. Who knows if your scrawny arms could handle magic circuits.
[Biting into her cookie]
... Though I will concede -- that is indeed an impressive resume. [No wonder he was stung when Tamamo shut him down]
[...He tilts his head back to look at the ceiling.]
It was about a year ago. I was still in school and my life was pretty normal up until that point. It was the fall, and I came home from work pretty late one night but when I got to my apartment, someone was waiting for me. A guy in a mask unleashed some white smoke that knocked me out, and when I woke up next I was on a ship with a weird bracelet attached to my wrist. It was bracelet number five. I was locked in a third-class cabin on one of the lower decks, and when the room started flooding with water I had to figure out a way to escape the room. Solve a puzzle, find the keycards to equal the right number, and get out of there alive to reach the hallway. By the time I got there, the hall was full of water. D Deck was flooding fast, but I ran up the stairs and got to B Deck. That's when I found out I wasn't alone. There were seven other people there on the staircases, and I don't know if any of us really expected to see each other. Most of us were strangers. But before I could ask...a girl came down the stairs.
It didn't register right away because it had been a while, but I immediately knew I'd seen her before. The ship shook, and she fell down the stairs. When I caught her, I realized she knew me, too. [A pause.] Akane and I hadn't spoken or even seen each other since the end of elementary school, but here she was on this ship. All nine of us learned that we had the same experience before this. We were kidnapped from our homes, knocked out by a guy in a mask and woke up on this ship locked in a room we had to escape. Once we were all together, a speaker in the corner started playing a broadcast.
[And here he begins to recite.] "Welcome aboard. I welcome you all, from the bottom of my heart, to this, my vessel. I am Zero, the captain of this ship. I am also the person who invited you here. I mean to have you participate in a game. Some of you, I know, are familiar with this game. The Nonary Game. It is a game where you will put your life on the line. The rules of the Nonary Game can be found upon your persons. The purpose of the game is simple. Leave this ship alive. It is hidden, but an exit can be found. Seek a way out. Seek a door that carries a 9. There is one last thing I must tell you. As you have no doubt surmised, this ship has begun to sink. On April 14th, 1912, the famous ocean liner Titanic crashed into an iceberg. After remaining afloat for 2 hours and 40 minutes, it sank beneath the waters of the North Atlantic. I will give you more time. 9 hours. That is the time you will be given to make your escape."
When we started to check everything, we saw that the windows wouldn't open and a lot of the doors were locked. There wasn't any way out of the ship right away, so we split up and started looking around. The entirety of D Deck was underwater, but we found an elevator and rooms and doors to pass through. The game functioned on a system where we had to use our bracelet numbers to get a digital root that equaled the number on each locked door. Each bracelet would be scanned in, and each person who entered the room needed to contribute to solving the puzzle. No less than three and no more than five people could enter the room, and if we broke those rules, or we didn't activate the sensor inside to scan in...a bomb inside of us would explode. That happened to the Ninth Man.
So...we didn't really have a choice but to play along. We had to go through these rooms and risk our lives trusting each other and finding a way out. We lost some people on the way, and the longer we played we started talking more and realized there was something bigger that happened.
[He's getting to the point, and this is maybe the most he's ever said to her.] I found out from this girl, Clover. She had bracelet number four and we worked together on a few different puzzles. She told me that nine years before the Nonary Game I played in, the first Nonary Game was run. It was an experiment run by a company called Cradle Pharmaceuticals. Nine people were put on a ship that was starting to sink, and nine others were in the building that looked identical to the inside of the ship. It was nine pairs of siblings, all kids. The purpose of the Nonary Game was to test for telepathy using the Morphogenic Field. Think of it like a fourth dimension, or a space of consciousness where living beings can tap in and obtain and exchange information between each other. In order to access the field, you need two factors. Clover told me that the first is epiphany and the second is danger. The Nonary Game itself was meant to introduce danger and force these kids to access the field to save themselves, to see how easily it could be done to transfer information between pairs. It was life or death, and according to Clover, a girl died during the experiment.
[There's a long pause.] So. Nine years later, we played the same game. Zero kidnapped us and put our lives in danger. The killings started not long after we got there, and as we started learning more about the ship and our circumstances, we came to the conclusion that Zero was among us. None of knew why, or what was happening to cause all of this, but we learned that Clover wasn't the only one who'd played in the first Nonary Game in our group. Her brother, Snake, was with us. And so was a guy named Santa. It was Santa who kind of tipped us off to what needed to happen, and then it became clear. It was revenge for what had happened all those years ago. People were killed and punished for their role in the initial game, even if we didn't know it.
[...] Akane Kurashiki had died nine years before in the first Nonary Game. She burned alive in an incinerator because she couldn't solve the puzzle and save herself. Nine years before our game, Akane saw a timeline where everything went a certain way, but it was a timeline in her future and my present. In the present, the Akane I knew that existed among us almost existed like a paradox, and she was able to orchestrate the entire game with Santa's help, recreating everything she saw and altering rules as she needed to enact her revenge and get us to play along. This girl was Zero, and she brought all of us to that building to help save herself and make sure she would exist in the future she had established herself in instead of disappearing.
There was something there that connected us in the Morphogenetic Field, so she could guide me to help me save her. She saw everything through me, and guided me through the whole game to make sure her plan worked. We solved the last puzzle together in two separate timelines through the Morphogenetic Field. Even though she died in that timeline previously, I was able to help her get out of that room and help her escape from the ship before it sank. Saving her meant that she could exist in the current timeline and secured her future. By the time I solved everything though, and by the time I lost my connection with her, we found our way off of the ship and realized we were inside Building Q all along. There was a car left for us to get out of the desert, but Santa and Akane were both missing.
...I dropped out of school and became a detective to find her. And that's what happened.
... This sounds entirely like the sort of nonsense a magus would pull. Casually throwing around the Second Magic like a play toy.
[She has a hand pressed against her temple, just. staring into the abyss. The entire story apparently found its mark.
Like she's actually convinced Akane is a mage. Jesus. And Junpei might also be one? Are you fuckin kidding her?
She wishes these cookies had alcohol in them.]
So in one specific timeline, you and her rewrote time to ensure she would live to adulthood. That is something not even I could not do without my divinity, and regaining my last six tails.
[LIKE, TAMAMO HAS TO BE AMATERASU DO TO THE EQUIVALENT. She hates humans sometimes.]
Oh. [...haha!] Yeah. Uh. That's a thing, I guess. [...he rubs the back of his neck.] Carlos and I both are. So's Akane. That's how we got through the Decision Game...we learned how to SHIFT to jump to different histories.
The entirety of FGO hinges on sending one person back into the past and into different timelines, and they need a whole ass facility to make it happen.
This isn't Magic anymore, it's just straight-up bullshit.]
If only I could strangle you with a clear conscious.
[Biting viciously into a cookie]
And here I had planned on gracefully living out the rest of my days on the ship, assuming no one could anchor my existence. Even Higekiri-san would have had to get creative for a solution.
[AND HERE JUNPEI IS, HAVING HAD THAT POTENTIAL TO SAVE HER FROM DAY ONE.
[A yelp! And he drops the cookie. FAREWELL. He's still sore from his energy drain and he's trying to defend himself by scooting the FUCK AWAY and taking the cookies with him.]
It's not a mockery, I didn't even know how to SHIFT until like a few hours before I came here! [SO!!!] It's kind of a new thing, and I kind of thought I already did! The memory of mine that you saw was one of the different timelines. [Just. WAVING HIS HANDS?] I have died a lot, Tamamo. I'm the version of myself that's managed to jump into a timeline where me and the others are all alive and I just remember the other timelines because of the Morphogenetic Field.
If nothing else, she's gotten the frustration out of her system by this point and brings her hands back to her lap. He's moved out of pummeling distance anyway.]
And with that ability, you've been able to find the timeline where you'll truly be happy.
Gatling gun, acid showers, explosive collars, poisoning...[It's. It's a lot.] The Decision Game was designed that way.
[He doesn't move much further now that she's calmed down, but he sort of just...shrugs.]
The timeline that I was SHIFTing too before I came here is the one where we have to find the fanatic to stop them before they start the nuclear war that'll kill eight billion people. But after that, sure. There's a chance to be happy. Akane and I aren't officially engaged in that timeline yet, but we both remember so it counts enough.
[Mouth setting into a line when she hears all the ways he has died, but it is a moot point if he's already experienced them, isn't it? She sighs and settles her weight on the wall behind them]
Ha... That is good then. I dislike sad endings.
[More than anyone. So to hear Junpei gets what he wants soothes her heart.]
...I do, too. [Because that's just how it is. For as prickly and irritable as he seems sometimes, how shady and dodgy he can be to protect himself, he's still someone fairly soft-hearted who wants a happily ever after for himself and the people he loves the most.]
[Still a tiny bit salty that this happened. To think this was easily fixed by just a casual conversation -- but she supposes this is what they get for never talking about themselves outside of dire situations. They are too alike in all the ways that matter.]
... I still consider it a poor idea. [crossing her arms] At best, you are the equivalent of a highly specialized mage, and I can think of many ways that would still pose a problem.
[... But saying it's a "poor idea" is not the same as "no", either. Her ears peel back]
Well... You spoke correctly before: I have no right to tell you what to do or how to feel, so... do as you wish, I suppose.
[That's practically her blessing so he seems to perk up a little at the idea. He has no idea how he's going to do this but he has time to figure it out. Determination and spite have often served him well. He will find a way to save her.
For now though...he turns to crawl a little closer and plant a loud, smacking and overexaggerated kiss to her head.]
[Wanting so badly to roll her eyes at that kiss, Junpei is so much... but she's a creature of affection and her tails smack against the ground as they wag. Two days' worth of anxiety finally starts to melt away.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...I'm not going to apologize for trying to find a way to save you. But I will apologize for going about it the wrong way.
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To your credit, I doubt there would have been a right way.
[...]
Junpei... I'm not the true Tamamo no Mae. She resides in an ethereal plane known as the Throne of Heroes. There, all types of figures who have made their mark on history reside, until they are summoned or called down upon the world to defend it.
Consider me more of a... projection of her, as the world would likely not be able to handle her full existence. [A shrug]
And as a projection, I have almost no bearing on the original. Should I die, Tamamo no Mae will continue to exist, and be summoned again. Over and over.
[Rearranging her hands on her lap, sighing, before she reaches over and takes a cookie for herself]
But it takes a miracle to be summoned. Every second is a gift to us Servants. It's why even knowing I am expendable, I wanted to make my wish come true somehow...
[...]
Though as previously mentioned, the requirements to keep me in the realm of the living are... steep. You'd need magic circuits, first off, and even then, most humans would buckle under the pressure of maintaining me. It'd be one thing if we were in the middle of a Holy Grail War -- then, at least, my purpose would be to protect you and win our battles, while you kept my existence stable. But during times of peace the benefit is...
[-- nonexistent, she wants to say, but Tamamo is trying not to make the same mistakes, either]
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You...aren't the first person I've saved. You aren't even the first person I've saved who wasn't a full, true version of yourself. [...] Sometimes you have to believe in miracles even when it's never really about that. There s always a universe where things work the way they're supposed to.
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[Mouth slipping into a pout]
I meant under the most ideal of conditions! And if you were a magus. Which you are not, to my knowledge. Who knows if your scrawny arms could handle magic circuits.
[Biting into her cookie]
... Though I will concede -- that is indeed an impressive resume. [No wonder he was stung when Tamamo shut him down]
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[...he tilts his head.] ...didn't I tell you about Akane?
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It quickly turns bemused, however, and she shakes her head]
Tell me what, exactly?
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[All she knows is the memory where she watched Junpei press "betray"]
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It was about a year ago. I was still in school and my life was pretty normal up until that point. It was the fall, and I came home from work pretty late one night but when I got to my apartment, someone was waiting for me. A guy in a mask unleashed some white smoke that knocked me out, and when I woke up next I was on a ship with a weird bracelet attached to my wrist. It was bracelet number five. I was locked in a third-class cabin on one of the lower decks, and when the room started flooding with water I had to figure out a way to escape the room. Solve a puzzle, find the keycards to equal the right number, and get out of there alive to reach the hallway. By the time I got there, the hall was full of water. D Deck was flooding fast, but I ran up the stairs and got to B Deck. That's when I found out I wasn't alone. There were seven other people there on the staircases, and I don't know if any of us really expected to see each other. Most of us were strangers. But before I could ask...a girl came down the stairs.
It didn't register right away because it had been a while, but I immediately knew I'd seen her before. The ship shook, and she fell down the stairs. When I caught her, I realized she knew me, too. [A pause.] Akane and I hadn't spoken or even seen each other since the end of elementary school, but here she was on this ship. All nine of us learned that we had the same experience before this. We were kidnapped from our homes, knocked out by a guy in a mask and woke up on this ship locked in a room we had to escape. Once we were all together, a speaker in the corner started playing a broadcast.
[And here he begins to recite.] "Welcome aboard. I welcome you all, from the bottom of my heart, to this, my vessel. I am Zero, the captain of this ship. I am also the person who invited you here. I mean to have you participate in a game. Some of you, I know, are familiar with this game. The Nonary Game. It is a game where you will put your life on the line. The rules of the Nonary Game can be found upon your persons. The purpose of the game is simple. Leave this ship alive. It is hidden, but an exit can be found. Seek a way out. Seek a door that carries a 9. There is one last thing I must tell you. As you have no doubt surmised, this ship has begun to sink. On April 14th, 1912, the famous ocean liner Titanic crashed into an iceberg. After remaining afloat for 2 hours and 40 minutes, it sank beneath the waters of the North Atlantic. I will give you more time. 9 hours. That is the time you will be given to make your escape."
When we started to check everything, we saw that the windows wouldn't open and a lot of the doors were locked. There wasn't any way out of the ship right away, so we split up and started looking around. The entirety of D Deck was underwater, but we found an elevator and rooms and doors to pass through. The game functioned on a system where we had to use our bracelet numbers to get a digital root that equaled the number on each locked door. Each bracelet would be scanned in, and each person who entered the room needed to contribute to solving the puzzle. No less than three and no more than five people could enter the room, and if we broke those rules, or we didn't activate the sensor inside to scan in...a bomb inside of us would explode. That happened to the Ninth Man.
So...we didn't really have a choice but to play along. We had to go through these rooms and risk our lives trusting each other and finding a way out. We lost some people on the way, and the longer we played we started talking more and realized there was something bigger that happened.
[He's getting to the point, and this is maybe the most he's ever said to her.] I found out from this girl, Clover. She had bracelet number four and we worked together on a few different puzzles. She told me that nine years before the Nonary Game I played in, the first Nonary Game was run. It was an experiment run by a company called Cradle Pharmaceuticals. Nine people were put on a ship that was starting to sink, and nine others were in the building that looked identical to the inside of the ship. It was nine pairs of siblings, all kids. The purpose of the Nonary Game was to test for telepathy using the Morphogenic Field. Think of it like a fourth dimension, or a space of consciousness where living beings can tap in and obtain and exchange information between each other. In order to access the field, you need two factors. Clover told me that the first is epiphany and the second is danger. The Nonary Game itself was meant to introduce danger and force these kids to access the field to save themselves, to see how easily it could be done to transfer information between pairs. It was life or death, and according to Clover, a girl died during the experiment.
[There's a long pause.] So. Nine years later, we played the same game. Zero kidnapped us and put our lives in danger. The killings started not long after we got there, and as we started learning more about the ship and our circumstances, we came to the conclusion that Zero was among us. None of knew why, or what was happening to cause all of this, but we learned that Clover wasn't the only one who'd played in the first Nonary Game in our group. Her brother, Snake, was with us. And so was a guy named Santa. It was Santa who kind of tipped us off to what needed to happen, and then it became clear. It was revenge for what had happened all those years ago. People were killed and punished for their role in the initial game, even if we didn't know it.
[...] Akane Kurashiki had died nine years before in the first Nonary Game. She burned alive in an incinerator because she couldn't solve the puzzle and save herself. Nine years before our game, Akane saw a timeline where everything went a certain way, but it was a timeline in her future and my present. In the present, the Akane I knew that existed among us almost existed like a paradox, and she was able to orchestrate the entire game with Santa's help, recreating everything she saw and altering rules as she needed to enact her revenge and get us to play along. This girl was Zero, and she brought all of us to that building to help save herself and make sure she would exist in the future she had established herself in instead of disappearing.
There was something there that connected us in the Morphogenetic Field, so she could guide me to help me save her. She saw everything through me, and guided me through the whole game to make sure her plan worked. We solved the last puzzle together in two separate timelines through the Morphogenetic Field. Even though she died in that timeline previously, I was able to help her get out of that room and help her escape from the ship before it sank. Saving her meant that she could exist in the current timeline and secured her future. By the time I solved everything though, and by the time I lost my connection with her, we found our way off of the ship and realized we were inside Building Q all along. There was a car left for us to get out of the desert, but Santa and Akane were both missing.
...I dropped out of school and became a detective to find her. And that's what happened.
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[She has a hand pressed against her temple, just. staring into the abyss. The entire story apparently found its mark.
Like she's actually convinced Akane is a mage. Jesus. And Junpei might also be one? Are you fuckin kidding her?
She wishes these cookies had alcohol in them.]
So in one specific timeline, you and her rewrote time to ensure she would live to adulthood. That is something not even I could not do without my divinity, and regaining my last six tails.
[LIKE, TAMAMO HAS TO BE AMATERASU DO TO THE EQUIVALENT. She hates humans sometimes.]
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...didn't I ever tell you that we're espers? [THIS IS APPARENTLY LIKE. A SURPRISE TO HIM.]
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[JUST STONE COLD]
This is news to me.
[Junpei you stupid twink, this is why your wife had a spat with you]
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The entirety of FGO hinges on sending one person back into the past and into different timelines, and they need a whole ass facility to make it happen.
This isn't Magic anymore, it's just straight-up bullshit.]
If only I could strangle you with a clear conscious.
[Biting viciously into a cookie]
And here I had planned on gracefully living out the rest of my days on the ship, assuming no one could anchor my existence. Even Higekiri-san would have had to get creative for a solution.
[AND HERE JUNPEI IS, HAVING HAD THAT POTENTIAL TO SAVE HER FROM DAY ONE.
AND NEVER TOLD HER.
She wants a divorce.]
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I tried to tell you when I asked what it took to anchor you. [Just. Gently pointing that out.]
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NO???
She gives into her need to shriek and turns to him, immediately pummeling his arm]
I would have argued less if I had known you can casually make a mockery of Magic by jumping into different timelines at will!
[AAAAAAH]
Exactly why didn't you mention being an esper before, Master?! And this entire time I thought I'd put your life in danger!
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It's not a mockery, I didn't even know how to SHIFT until like a few hours before I came here! [SO!!!] It's kind of a new thing, and I kind of thought I already did! The memory of mine that you saw was one of the different timelines. [Just. WAVING HIS HANDS?] I have died a lot, Tamamo. I'm the version of myself that's managed to jump into a timeline where me and the others are all alive and I just remember the other timelines because of the Morphogenetic Field.
no subject
[That's. hm.
If nothing else, she's gotten the frustration out of her system by this point and brings her hands back to her lap. He's moved out of pummeling distance anyway.]
And with that ability, you've been able to find the timeline where you'll truly be happy.
[What a cheat. It's a little commendable.]
no subject
[He doesn't move much further now that she's calmed down, but he sort of just...shrugs.]
The timeline that I was SHIFTing too before I came here is the one where we have to find the fanatic to stop them before they start the nuclear war that'll kill eight billion people. But after that, sure. There's a chance to be happy. Akane and I aren't officially engaged in that timeline yet, but we both remember so it counts enough.
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Ha... That is good then. I dislike sad endings.
[More than anyone. So to hear Junpei gets what he wants soothes her heart.]
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Do you understand why I was so mad now, at least?
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[Still a tiny bit salty that this happened. To think this was easily fixed by just a casual conversation -- but she supposes this is what they get for never talking about themselves outside of dire situations. They are too alike in all the ways that matter.]
... I still consider it a poor idea. [crossing her arms] At best, you are the equivalent of a highly specialized mage, and I can think of many ways that would still pose a problem.
[... But saying it's a "poor idea" is not the same as "no", either. Her ears peel back]
Well... You spoke correctly before: I have no right to tell you what to do or how to feel, so... do as you wish, I suppose.
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For now though...he turns to crawl a little closer and plant a loud, smacking and overexaggerated kiss to her head.]
Do you still trust me?
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Of course I do, Master.
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Then trust me when I say I'll do everything I can to try and find a way.
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