[Things we've established: Carlos is a fucking idiot.
So, of course, it should come as no surprise when the first sound he makes after Junpei plants his lips on him is a very muffled and confused,]
Mmph—?!
[Bro, he understands even less than he did before.
Still, he's not pushing him away. Rather, he's kind of... frozen? Hands hovering awkwardly centimeters away from making contact with Junpei's biceps. Eyes wide. Face flushed. What do thought experiments have to do with smooching. Send help.]
[It's not like Junpei understands either?? He's not pulling back immediately except he's aware Carlos is frozen and not touching him even while he keeps his mouth pressed to his.
Then again...he pulls back after a few moments of this where he realizes Carlos isn't kissing back, staring up at him with an uncertain expression.]
...you could've at least, like, pushed me away if you weren't into it. [It's supposed to be a joke but it falls a little flat.]
[Junpei pulls away, and Carlos' hands finally land on his arms after a bit of awkward hovering. He stares back at him with the most flabbergasted look on his face.]
I'm not—
[—not into it?? He snaps his mouth shut before he can finish that because, uh. He's not actually sure what the fuck is happening right now, actually. Junpei? Isn't even asking for a favor? Someone please stab him again for being a dumbass himbo. He laughs a short, awkward laugh before trying again.]
... You, uh. [UH.] Is this your way of saying you want to sleep with me? Because usually people just ask.
[NPC machine broke. He has no hecking idea how metaphysics relates to any of this at all.]
[Me, picturing Carlos doing the awkward-ass shoulder touch Miles does in Spiderverse. But Junpei looks at the hands on his arms, looks at Carlos, and just...looks at the ceiling like "oh my god, why in the fuck do I put up with this."]
Man I've been trying to ask for weeks. [YOU. DUMB. BITCH. In Carlos's defense it's not like Junpei's been great at using his words, but.] You really had no idea Akane and I were both flirting with you, did you?
Oh my god. [Yeah. Okay. He. Just sits on the ground because he's so stunned by Carlos being A FUCKING FOOL.] "Oh Carlos you're so brave and strong risking your life like you do." [...yeah he's making fun of Akane but like. Lmao. He's allowed.] Seriously...
You know what Akane's like, man. Does that really seem like her usual style? [Hewwo???] And anyway turns out people can be into more than one person at a time so I don't know what you were expecting.
Wh— I knew her for a week! I thought that was normal for her.
[And he thought Junpei was being his broody self but now, in retrospect, he's kind of. Hm. Jesus. He rubs his face. Plops down on the ground next to him. Contemplates the fact that he's A Fool.]
... And I thought you were joking. We didn't exactly get off to an easy start, remember?
You do remember Akane's brilliant plan to get us to shift was to create a bomb, right? [But he'll look at him from the corner of his eye, slowly watching Carlos's world fall apart. Haha. Sucker.]
...I don't really joke about that kind of stuff. I was--and still kind of am--mad at Akane for a lot of things and I still want to marry her. Even with the rough start...[A shrug.] I think I told you this before. Things are just better when you're around.
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So, of course, it should come as no surprise when the first sound he makes after Junpei plants his lips on him is a very muffled and confused,]
Mmph—?!
[Bro, he understands even less than he did before.
Still, he's not pushing him away. Rather, he's kind of... frozen? Hands hovering awkwardly centimeters away from making contact with Junpei's biceps. Eyes wide. Face flushed. What do thought experiments have to do with smooching. Send help.]
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Then again...he pulls back after a few moments of this where he realizes Carlos isn't kissing back, staring up at him with an uncertain expression.]
...you could've at least, like, pushed me away if you weren't into it. [It's supposed to be a joke but it falls a little flat.]
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I'm not—
[—not into it?? He snaps his mouth shut before he can finish that because, uh. He's not actually sure what the fuck is happening right now, actually. Junpei? Isn't even asking for a favor? Someone please stab him again for being a dumbass himbo. He laughs a short, awkward laugh before trying again.]
... You, uh. [UH.] Is this your way of saying you want to sleep with me? Because usually people just ask.
[NPC machine broke. He has no hecking idea how metaphysics relates to any of this at all.]
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Man I've been trying to ask for weeks. [YOU. DUMB. BITCH. In Carlos's defense it's not like Junpei's been great at using his words, but.] You really had no idea Akane and I were both flirting with you, did you?
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What?
[NO.]
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Oh my god. [Yeah. Okay. He. Just sits on the ground because he's so stunned by Carlos being A FUCKING FOOL.] "Oh Carlos you're so brave and strong risking your life like you do." [...yeah he's making fun of Akane but like. Lmao. He's allowed.] Seriously...
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[BRO, DON'T SIT ON THE GROUND WHILE FLIPPING HIS WORLD AROUND. WHAT THE FUCK.]
She was obviously into you!
[tmw you realize people have Two Hands.]
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Wh— I knew her for a week! I thought that was normal for her.
[And he thought Junpei was being his broody self but now, in retrospect, he's kind of. Hm. Jesus. He rubs his face. Plops down on the ground next to him. Contemplates the fact that he's A Fool.]
... And I thought you were joking. We didn't exactly get off to an easy start, remember?
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...I don't really joke about that kind of stuff. I was--and still kind of am--mad at Akane for a lot of things and I still want to marry her. Even with the rough start...[A shrug.] I think I told you this before. Things are just better when you're around.