[He feels his heart racing and the unsteady intakes of his breath seem to be much louder in his ears than they really are. It wasn't exactly what he meant to say, and he's already prepping to apologize and take it all back and never talk about it ever again but.
Carlos. Says that.
And it gets him to laugh instead. It's uneasy and maybe a little hysterical but there's also amusement as he buries his head in his hands and his shoulders shake with laughter.]
[Polly should have summoned a therapist instead of sex demons.
But since that's not what happened, Carlos is just going to quietly reach over to pat his shoulder. There, there. Laugh the hysteria away.]
... I know things keep getting worse. [He can't shounen his way around that one.] But I made a promise to save you and Akane in another history, and I intend to keep it. You know you can still count on me, right?
[Polly should have just killed Junpei so I don't have to do this tbh. But it's fine. Carlos gives him a shoulder pat and somehow he winds himself down again as he looks straight ahead.]
...it's just...[He doesn't want to admit to it or say it, but.] It's harder when you're not around. Both of you. [No Akane. No Carlos. Just Junpei and his own fucked up head and sex demons.] I worked fine without you guys before, so why...
[...hm. He knows why. C-Team went through things only they would understand. He'll reach into his pocket then and pull out Akane's engagement ring to hold up and show Carlos.]
Do you know anything about this? Or anything you can at least tell me?
... It's not bad to realize you work best with people you [hm] feel close to. That just means you're human. [It was almost "care about." He doesn't want to be presumption, though, even if Akane was definitely included in that sentence. It's fine.
He'll give Junpei's shoulder one last pat when he reaches into his pocket, pulling away to lay his hands on his lap. The engagement ring gets... a look-over. There's a funny expression on Carlos' face, right before he looks away. Those seahorses sure are a good distraction, huh...]
[Being a terrible liar is both a blessing and a curse. Carlos' expression is pinched as Junpei asks him about it again. If he wants to say something, he's obviously weighting the pros and cons.
Can. We have all this... all this information in our heads. But we're not allowed to say most of it. If we try, they'll make sure it comes out as nonsense to everyone else.
[...]
You've heard it before. From me. That's what'll happen if I give you an answer, even if it's a no.
[And, you know, he would rather not deal with that where he can avoid it. Thanks.]
They can go fuck themselves. [Grumbling. But...he feels a little better knowing it's not just that Carlos doesn't want to. With that answered, he figures it might be another role of some kind that he has to find, so...that's a next week problem.
He thinks back to what Carlos said earlier. The sentence wasn't said, but based on what he knows, and knowing Carlos, and even knowing Akane, he can fill in the blanks.
He stares at an ass-starfish instead.]
...I was mad at you until I realized you weren't really gone. [Poor Higekiri got the brunt end of it.] And...there are still things I'm mad at Akane for. [Poor Beck got the brunt end of that.] But you can still say it, man. "It's not bad to realize you work best with people you care about."
[An awkward pause.] I'm not great at it. You know this. But are you really still not sure if I do or not?
[Please don't tell the sex demons to go fuck themselves, Junpei. They can and they probably will.
While Junpei stares at the soon to be defunct ass-starfish, though, the corners of Carlos' lips are going to quirk upwards. He... might have heard about that, yes. He might have also felt bad about that, but with the way things are? There's not much to do about it while he's stuck on the flipside of this dimension. It's only when Junpei is done speaking that he leans back in his beanbag chair, examining the aquarium ceiling for the first time.]
... When you really think about it, we haven't known each other for that long, have we? [Gaining memories from alternate histories made the Decision Game feel like an eternity, when in reality, it only added a couple of hours (at most) to the few days he had known Junpei.] And I did ask you to let me die without explaining what you were agreeing to, first. I'd get it, Junpei, if you decided you were too angry at me.
[It's not quite on the level of accidentally letting the apocalypse happen, but. It's not good either?]
...it felt a lot like it did when Akane asked me to forget everything. I don't like not getting a real choice. From either of you. [He turns to look at Carlos.] It hasn't been that long but I want to keep trusting you. I thought you lied to me, I guess.
I get why now, but I didn't then. [...how to explain... ] I hate coming to you when I don't know what to do with myself, but you're...[He doesn't know what to say without getting weird so he shrugs.] Never mind. I care about what happens to you and you're gonna have to get used to my nipples.
[Sure! It's "I'm worried and I'll check in a lot" but also trying not to be too clingy in case Carlos thinks it's weird. He can't think it's weird if he makes it weird first!]
[AH... IS THIS THE FABLED TSUNDERE...? Jokes aside, though, Carlos does huff out a laugh at that. It's light, and a little hollow sounding, but it's there and it's real. It's more evidence that he didn't lie to Junpei, exactly, when he said things would be fine.]
... Sorry.
[Quietly. He's smiling, but he does sound horribly apologetic. Carlos has been at the helm of one bad decision too many. And yet? He can't really begin to imagine how it must feel to be on Junpei's side. Even worse is the fact that shit is going to keep hitting the fan.]
You know... You can come to me for anything, right? Any time, too. I mean it. [That last bit comes out a little more firmly than intended, maybe. It's fine. He makes up for it by being a dumbass in this next part.] I'll even get used to your nipples so you don't have to worry about the pictures you have to send next.
[This is also "I'm worried so please check in a lot because I can't do shit otherwise." Thanks! They can just anxiously sweat across the dimensional void because this situation is, somehow, even worse than the one they barely escaped from before.]
[It helps. It helps and he seems to relax a little, giving Carlos a curious look again. They could just anxiously sweat at each other and leave it at that, friends busy internally screaming and dealing, but...he ruins it.]
You never did really answer if you have a picture preference. [A grin. It's back to teasing him lightly and trying to ease the mood.]
I don't know if I can really be an accurate judge for my own nipples. [This is the stupidest conversation, but it's better than thinking about hospitals.]
[That gets a grin. He shouldn't be pleased but he kind of is? And they're just joking around but sometimes Junpei is an asshole and likes seeing what buttons he can push, which is why he says:]
Flattering. I'll be sure to send you something else next time I want an expert opinion.
[Speak now or forever resign yourself to actual dick pics, Carlos. Probably. Maybe? He's still debating, and he runs a hand through his hair. ]
...I know you're busy. But I want you to stick around as long as you can. That's probably selfish, isn't it? [Does he care? No, not really.]
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Carlos. Says that.
And it gets him to laugh instead. It's uneasy and maybe a little hysterical but there's also amusement as he buries his head in his hands and his shoulders shake with laughter.]
Dude. [Thanks Carlos.]
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But since that's not what happened, Carlos is just going to quietly reach over to pat his shoulder. There, there. Laugh the hysteria away.]
... I know things keep getting worse. [He can't shounen his way around that one.] But I made a promise to save you and Akane in another history, and I intend to keep it. You know you can still count on me, right?
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...it's just...[He doesn't want to admit to it or say it, but.] It's harder when you're not around. Both of you. [No Akane. No Carlos. Just Junpei and his own fucked up head and sex demons.] I worked fine without you guys before, so why...
[...hm. He knows why. C-Team went through things only they would understand. He'll reach into his pocket then and pull out Akane's engagement ring to hold up and show Carlos.]
Do you know anything about this? Or anything you can at least tell me?
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He'll give Junpei's shoulder one last pat when he reaches into his pocket, pulling away to lay his hands on his lap. The engagement ring gets... a look-over. There's a funny expression on Carlos' face, right before he looks away. Those seahorses sure are a good distraction, huh...]
Have you asked around?
[Hm.]
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Carlos. [No. Nope.] What do you know?
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... And it looks like the cons have won.]
There's nothing I can tell you about that.
[He does sound horribly apologetic, at least.]
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The tone kinda helps, but.]
...can? Or will? [...] Is this like the stuff Chuuya couldn't tell me about when I was asking about my job? Like you're not allowed to say?
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[...]
You've heard it before. From me. That's what'll happen if I give you an answer, even if it's a no.
[And, you know, he would rather not deal with that where he can avoid it. Thanks.]
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He thinks back to what Carlos said earlier. The sentence wasn't said, but based on what he knows, and knowing Carlos, and even knowing Akane, he can fill in the blanks.
He stares at an ass-starfish instead.]
...I was mad at you until I realized you weren't really gone. [Poor Higekiri got the brunt end of it.] And...there are still things I'm mad at Akane for. [Poor Beck got the brunt end of that.] But you can still say it, man. "It's not bad to realize you work best with people you care about."
[An awkward pause.] I'm not great at it. You know this. But are you really still not sure if I do or not?
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While Junpei stares at the soon to be defunct ass-starfish, though, the corners of Carlos' lips are going to quirk upwards. He... might have heard about that, yes. He might have also felt bad about that, but with the way things are? There's not much to do about it while he's stuck on the flipside of this dimension. It's only when Junpei is done speaking that he leans back in his beanbag chair, examining the aquarium ceiling for the first time.]
... When you really think about it, we haven't known each other for that long, have we? [Gaining memories from alternate histories made the Decision Game feel like an eternity, when in reality, it only added a couple of hours (at most) to the few days he had known Junpei.] And I did ask you to let me die without explaining what you were agreeing to, first. I'd get it, Junpei, if you decided you were too angry at me.
[It's not quite on the level of accidentally letting the apocalypse happen, but. It's not good either?]
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I get why now, but I didn't then. [...how to explain... ] I hate coming to you when I don't know what to do with myself, but you're...[He doesn't know what to say without getting weird so he shrugs.] Never mind. I care about what happens to you and you're gonna have to get used to my nipples.
[Sure! It's "I'm worried and I'll check in a lot" but also trying not to be too clingy in case Carlos thinks it's weird. He can't think it's weird if he makes it weird first!]
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... Sorry.
[Quietly. He's smiling, but he does sound horribly apologetic. Carlos has been at the helm of one bad decision too many. And yet? He can't really begin to imagine how it must feel to be on Junpei's side. Even worse is the fact that shit is going to keep hitting the fan.]
You know... You can come to me for anything, right? Any time, too. I mean it. [That last bit comes out a little more firmly than intended, maybe. It's fine. He makes up for it by being a dumbass in this next part.] I'll even get used to your nipples so you don't have to worry about the pictures you have to send next.
[This is also "I'm worried so please check in a lot because I can't do shit otherwise." Thanks! They can just anxiously sweat across the dimensional void because this situation is, somehow, even worse than the one they barely escaped from before.]
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You never did really answer if you have a picture preference. [A grin. It's back to teasing him lightly and trying to ease the mood.]
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IMMEDIATELY
SHOVES AT JUNPEI'S BEANBAG]
I said your nipples are fine.
[Junpei is the worst but, yeah. This is effective. Thanks, pal.]
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[Or make him laugh. Or fluster him to make himself laugh.]
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You don't think your nipples are spicy enough?
[hate that.]
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[He's.
He's seen them like three times at this point.
Carlos.]
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Flattering. I'll be sure to send you something else next time I want an expert opinion.
[Speak now or forever resign yourself to actual dick pics, Carlos. Probably. Maybe? He's still debating, and he runs a hand through his hair. ]
...I know you're busy. But I want you to stick around as long as you can. That's probably selfish, isn't it? [Does he care? No, not really.]