[higekiri sits on the railing of the ship, perfectly balanced as he wears his own uniform jacket today. he hasn't put his arms in the sleeves yet again, which means that they billow neatly in the wind as his gaze remains locked on the ruins in the distance]
My brother is there, isn't he? So I wonder if I wait for long enough, I might be able to see him.
[and so that is the reason why higekiri is on the deck of the ship so often, isn't that nice]
[That makes so much sense it's disgusting because for the first week Junpei was out here on the deck waiting to see if he could find people, too. He notices the jacket and he doesn't seem perturbed about Higekiri balancing, quietly pondering as he nods along.]
I've wondered the same. [If they can see people.] Carlos and I just have Dcom...showed up right after he became a host. [He points at the domed building.] It's where we met.
I could almost be jealous, that you still get to talk to him.
[but that's the lack of filter talking - a thought that higekiri normally keeps inside to himself. but he'll glance over at junpei, and the expression on his face still wears a smile, so it looks like he didn't mean any harm by it]
But it's better to remain big-hearted. I found an alternative route through Nikori, so I am still grateful.
[he looks back to the domed building]
Do you wish to see anyone else from home? [in a shocking work of his memory - ] Akane?
[Part of him wants to argue that it isn't the same, exactly, but he doesn't. He seems to understand that Higekiri doesn't mean any harm and instead he thinks about what he says.]
I'm glad Nikkari's helping you pass messages to Hizamaru. This'll be over soon, and then we'll be able to bring everyone back. That's the goal, anyway. [But the next part also makes him pause but not for the same reason. There's something unreadable in his expression then.]
...I miss her every day, but that isn't new. I spent a year trying to find her so...a few weeks is tolerable, sometimes.
[Ow? When phrased that way he almost looks a little stricken but it melts almost immediately to something neutral.]
...she left, yeah. After we saved her and secured her existence, she ditched us in the desert to move on to her next plan. So I dropped out of school and joined my firm to find her. Even when I found her I don't think she wanted to be found at first. Her plans were always pretty important to her.
[and that much is true, it's just. what comes out of his mouth. he sees the ways he hurts people and is certain again that he is better off broken, if there is no hope of repair]
... did she think that having you with her would compromise her plans?
It's not offensive. [It's factual and it's tiring to think about all over again, but it's. Fine.] And it's possible that's what she was thinking. I told her I'd help her and do whatever to make sure her plans worked, and she said no right before she erased my memories.
...but that was a different timeline. In the new one, I'll just have to argue harder.
It's not exactly the same for us like it is for you guys. Every timeline is the same up to a certain point. We don't exactly have to relive the same events because they've already happened, but a different choice or a different outcome will happen instead to create a different path.
Like...let's say there's a coin toss. In one version of history, you win. In the other, you lose. Everything before that coin toss is the same, but if you go to the point of the coin toss itself you can change what happens next.
But because we're espers we have access to all of the alternate memories, too. So...we both remember what happened. Getting her to stay is going to be more about my actions going forward instead of repeating previous ones.
[it sounds familiar - enough? they don't get to redo once they're actually in the mission, but... well. he nods regardless.]
So she remembers the times she's left [he - obviously needs to bite his tongue on the 'you'. he does. and then he winces briefly before continuing] as well....?
Yeah. She remembers every history we've ever lived just like I do, plus some other stuff I haven't even experienced yet because that's just how she is. She can see across a lot of different timelines and I guess sort of talk to future versions of herself? It was a little complicated.
I suppose I am not too surprised that you would lay your affections on someone so complicated. It will be interesting when she will have to meet Nightheart as well.
[A shrug.] I've known her for most of my life, even if there was a long period of time we didn't see each other. You don't forget the important things.
[...ah.] It'll be fine whenever they meet. Akane will understand, and so will he. [Probably.]
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My brother is there, isn't he? So I wonder if I wait for long enough, I might be able to see him.
[and so that is the reason why higekiri is on the deck of the ship so often, isn't that nice]
Do you see anything familiar to you and Carlos?
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I've wondered the same. [If they can see people.] Carlos and I just have Dcom...showed up right after he became a host. [He points at the domed building.] It's where we met.
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[but that's the lack of filter talking - a thought that higekiri normally keeps inside to himself. but he'll glance over at junpei, and the expression on his face still wears a smile, so it looks like he didn't mean any harm by it]
But it's better to remain big-hearted. I found an alternative route through Nikori, so I am still grateful.
[he looks back to the domed building]
Do you wish to see anyone else from home? [in a shocking work of his memory - ] Akane?
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I'm glad Nikkari's helping you pass messages to Hizamaru. This'll be over soon, and then we'll be able to bring everyone back. That's the goal, anyway. [But the next part also makes him pause but not for the same reason. There's something unreadable in his expression then.]
...I miss her every day, but that isn't new. I spent a year trying to find her so...a few weeks is tolerable, sometimes.
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[A RATHER SCATHING PHRASING but that's.... that's just why he needs repairs - he at least seems to frown at his own word choice before speaking again]
Or something took her away?
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...she left, yeah. After we saved her and secured her existence, she ditched us in the desert to move on to her next plan. So I dropped out of school and joined my firm to find her. Even when I found her I don't think she wanted to be found at first. Her plans were always pretty important to her.
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... I did not mean to offend.
[and that much is true, it's just. what comes out of his mouth. he sees the ways he hurts people and is certain again that he is better off broken, if there is no hope of repair]
... did she think that having you with her would compromise her plans?
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...but that was a different timeline. In the new one, I'll just have to argue harder.
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Oh...? How much of your new timeline must you relive in order to get her to stay?
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Like...let's say there's a coin toss. In one version of history, you win. In the other, you lose. Everything before that coin toss is the same, but if you go to the point of the coin toss itself you can change what happens next.
But because we're espers we have access to all of the alternate memories, too. So...we both remember what happened. Getting her to stay is going to be more about my actions going forward instead of repeating previous ones.
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[it sounds familiar - enough? they don't get to redo once they're actually in the mission, but... well. he nods regardless.]
So she remembers the times she's left [he - obviously needs to bite his tongue on the 'you'. he does. and then he winces briefly before continuing] as well....?
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a soft laugh at that]
I suppose I am not too surprised that you would lay your affections on someone so complicated. It will be interesting when she will have to meet Nightheart as well.
[he's just gonna say it]
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[...ah.] It'll be fine whenever they meet. Akane will understand, and so will he. [Probably.]
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[please he has no understanding of human courtship]
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