DICK;

[crashout]

Comments

[unpredicktable]

[ dick lets himself be pulled along, looking a bit smug because that was very weak snark and very much in the Dick Grayson Gets What He Wants category, thank ]

Three's fine, I'm not a bottomless pit.

[ like. maybe if he was crime fighting but there is a lot less punching involved in this place?? so ]

[crashout]

Okay, three for you and six for me. [He's. Maybe not serious? We won't know exactly and he doesn't mind giving Dick what he wants for the next couple of hours to prove a point and because...at the end of the day, Junpei does like making people happy. He likes being the one to do things for people he cares about, and it's a part of him that was buried for a while after a year of the worst of humanity shoved down his throat.

So, truthfully, Dick letting him do this is as much of a gift to himself as it is to Dick.

He'll pull him into the kitchen and when they get there he lets go of Dick's hand, already moving to pull things out of the fridge and out of cabinets. Luckily the kitchen's been fixed. RIP Taako. He does stop to flip on a coffee maker though.]

I'm not a culinary genius or anything, so...you gotta be patient with me.

[unpredicktable]

[ once they're in, dick leans his back against a counter as he watches junpei go. he's not sure what brought this on-- not that he minds, of course, but... all he really hopes for is that it'll at least serve to distract junpei for a little bit.

he tilts his head ]

Oh, so you haven't been hiding out secret cooking skills from me this whole time? That's a relief. [ he's grinning. because. he's an asshole. ] But I can't judge. Eggs is about as good as it gets for me too.

[ sometimes you have a butler who cooks for you, ]

[crashout]

[It's definitely a good distraction because it means his hands are busy and he isn't forced to think about the inevitable. He's not really ready to tell Dick anything even if there's still some tension in his shoulders, but the look on his face is relaxed enough while he's working.]

Aren't superheroes supposed to be kind of famous or whatever? Surprised you don't have people waiting on you hand and foot because they're grateful for your service or something. [Breakfast making is a go which means he's cracking eggs into a bowl, mixing some stuff in, letting a pan heat up, adding some milk, etc. There's...probably a process here.]

[unpredicktable]

Secret identities, remember? Most superheroes work royalty free, and most of them have a real job on the side to pay the bills.

[ dick hums in thought as he watches junpei work, and he specifically on purpose waits for when he's breaking an egg to go-- ]

Though I did have a butler growing up.

[crashout]

Most of them except you who act as Nightwing full time. I know, I got it. [The way he says it seems to imply he doesn't mind actually. Except, like, he raises an eyebrow and almost breaks the shell into the bowl. Excuse?]

A butler. Like...the kind that answer doors?

[What the fuck else do butlers do.]

[unpredicktable]

[ dick's shoulders are shaking ]

Well, if he heard you reduce his job to that, he wouldn't like it, but... yeah. He does answer the door. As butlers do. He's also British.

[ it sounds like SUCH a shitpost ]

[crashout]

He. What? [Okay eggs are going on hold and he's turning to look at him for a hot second.] ...okay. Why do you have a butler, exactly...?

[unpredicktable]

I don't have a butler. I just... happened to live with one after I was adopted.

[ he looks so amused as he's waiting for junpei to connect the dots ]

[crashout]

[...]

The superhero who brought you home is actually really rich, isn't he. [FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!]

[unpredicktable]

[ dick nods. solemnly. ]

His superpower is money.

[ and then he cackles a bit because oh god batman would kill him for saying this ]

[crashout]

[He just. Grabs whatever is closest to throw at him?! It's a slice of green pepper. Dick!!!! THE INSULT NOT THE NAME!!!]

Are you fucking kidding me right now. Of course you're rich. [He's not jealous but wow this suddenly puts. A handful of things into context.] Let me guess. That's why the Batcave could be built?

[unpredicktable]

[ he lets the pepper hit him but catches it afterwards to snack. hmm. delicious. though he shrugs afterwards, humming. ]

Yeah. Along with a bunch of other superhero hideouts. Not that he advertises it. [ he tilts his head ] Most people know as soon as I tell them my name.

[ the. rich thing, obviously. ]

[crashout]

That obviously doesn't help me here, you know. [He's glaring a little but it's mostly because:] You could've said something sooner, like maybe back when I was complaining about paying for laundry?

[But he shrugs.] I'll try to live up to your expertise then, Master Grayson.

[unpredicktable]

[ he snorts ]

Like what? [ he puts on a fake posh accent ] Sorry, I can't relate to your poor people problems? [ back to normal: ] It's not like I don't know what a laundromat is.

[ he just. has never had to use it. but. ah. gross. ]

Hmmm... nope. It's not the same without the accent. Guess the Master thing can stay your weird kink.

[crashout]

The Master thing is not a kink. I wouldn't let anybody else get away with it besides Tamamo, so don't even go there. [Mixing, cutting, and pouring some...hybrid of shit into the pan that Dick probably can't see. Simultaneously he's reaching over with a hand to pour a cup of coffee before mixing in cream and sugar and handing it over. Why does he reward Dick for being mean to him? Great question.]

[unpredicktable]

Good, 'cause you'd have to do a lot more than make me breakfast before I'd even consider entertaining that one.

[ he takes the cup with a soft thanks and purposefully brushing hands with junpei during the exchange. you cannot be soft after insulting and bullying him, grayson? ]

[crashout]

[There's a grin because he's still counting that as a victory, and yeah sure he lets his hand linger a little before pulling back to pour his own coffee and work on the eggs.]

Do I wanna know what'd it take? You're kind of setting me up to ask.

[unpredicktable]

[ sips the coffee slowly and deliberately ]

Hmmm. How comfortable are you owing me a ridiculous amount of favors?

[crashout]

You still owe me a favor from our last game, asshole. Or did you forget? [Just saying. Junpei Tenmyouji, the height of romance, calling his boyfriend an asshole to his face.]

[unpredicktable]

[ what a heartthrob. dick's laughing because he has terrible taste ]

Are you planning to cash it in for that? That's not gonna help your kink denial.

[crashout]

I know I told you I'd give you my kink list someday but now I'm seriously reconsidering it. [This time he throws a mushroom. ] Anyway no. I'm still saving that one for something else.

[unpredicktable]

Promise I won't kinkshame your real kinks. Scout's honor.

[ dick has never been in the boy scouts in his life. anyway he catches the mushroom but doesn't eat it because raw mushrooms are bad, source: me ]

And what exactly is that something else?

[crashout]

[He rolls his eyes because no, Dick gets to never know about his real kinks now. Instead, he's flipping eggs and looking at the pan.]

Dunno yet. Is there an expiration date on that favor?

[unpredicktable]

[ saturday looms over them for a second as dick hums. ]

Nope. No expiration date. I'll just live with the anticipation.