As I knew you would. [Haha! At least now that he knows she isn't in danger he looks a little amused and a little thoughtful, tail swishing over the floor playfully.]
No, you just confirmed for me. [A smile.] You handed in the bottle to Chuuya in the lounge because that's where we're supposed to go for evidence. You just told me that you and Grune have sudden feelings for each other after eating cookies that Taako made. And I know there're love potions floating around so I put two and two together.
[Wow he's even more insufferable now that he's a feline and also right.
The worst]
Just because you're exceedingly clever doesn't mean you get to lord it over me, you realize! Why did Taako-san even have such a loaded potion like that lying around! Those topple dynasties, and yet he was planning to hand them out during tomorrow's trial!
[...]
Make no mistake, I am also tempted to do the same thing, just so everyone gets a taste for how this feels.
...it'd be hilarious but maybe not so productive. [Being a cat also ups his ability to be an asshole.] It sounds just like Taako to warrant mass chaos in the middle of everything, if you think about it.
[A shrug.] Anyway if I had to guess, it was a bingo reward. That's where I got mine.
Hmph, fine. I will refrain from sharing Taako-san's efforts unless Grune-sama beats me to it... at which point, we are all well and truly damned, I suppose.
Yeah. I hid mine so nobody else could steal it and because I really don't want to use it. But think about it this way. If Grune shares, at least you know they work now. You can avoid falling in love with someone unfortunate.
[He tilts his head, seemingly considering that before deciding to push his luck and tease her a little.]
You wouldn't anyway, I think, because you'd want me to be happy if I ever did find an appropriate suitor or whatever. And besides it wouldn't change how I felt about you.
Good point. [...] There are a lot of versions of me who never ended up with her. There are some versions of me who never found her, or one of us died, or she erased my memories and I spent my whole life probably looking for her again. [He looks at her for a moment.] I think even though I have, had, and always will love her no matter which version of myself I am, I think there's probably the potential for me to care about other people, too. I want the ending I want with her, but...sometimes I wonder if we both would think the same thing.
[... Well, since she will have to take this part of the conversation seriously, Tamamo twists so that she's lounging closer to him, shamelessly leaning some of her weight onto her tails. It's fine, they're fluffy enough.]
She erased your memories... [Tamamo's eyebrows knit in vague disapproval, though her gaze also softens.] Well, I tried to push you away for perhaps similar reasons... I have no right to judge her.
[Junpei needs to stop having a type]
If there is but even one ending where you two are together and happy, I don't doubt it is the ending she herself craves... that said, I do not think it is a crime to have other existences where you end up with other people.
...I told her I would help her. I always wanted to do whatever I could so maybe she would stop beating the weight of everything by herself. She told me I had to forget that I ever saw her. I didn't get a choice before she injected me. [Some context, maybe, for why Junpei was so upset with Tamamo, too.
But...he nods.] She said yes when I asked her to marry me right before that, so I want to believe that. But....I have been trying to figure out what version of myself I am for a while. I'm not the same one who showed up here. And I won't be the same one when I go back. Maybe I'm overthinking but I can't stop thinking about it anyway.
For all I know those other versions don't really exist anymore but all of those memories still do. I don't know if I'm making sense.
[Yes that certainly puts a lot of their previous conversations into perspective. Not that she was ever particularly proud of the way she acted, but her eyes dart to the side anyway, guilty]
Strictly speaking, you will always be the newest version of yourself, yes? Every decision you make that affects yourself and others, is perhaps a path another Junpei has not taken. It is the same for me as well, and everyone else.
[...]
To me, memory itself is proof of existence. Even if one dies... well. [A gesture to herself. She's "dead" but has come back many times, in many forms] It still means there was a timeline where those events happened.
...yeah, you're right about that. [He can agree, and maybe it's just because of Tamamo's really specific circumstances that she can understand what he's trying to say.] That was why we learned to SHIFT. That way we could save ourselves and go to the histories where our choices would help us survive instead of kill us. Being here, I can't SHIFT or even access the Morphogenetic Field, but...this version of me is going to eventually have to go back to the timeline of a previous version.
"We exist, therefore we know we exist." It basically means that all we can really know to be true now is what we know in the present, but with a lot of versions of myself and all of my memories, everything that happened here has to be true.
Hmph. In the eyes of the universe itself, that ability would be considered cheating where I'm from.
[She sounds amused, at least, at the tenacity of humans to disregard everything for their own survival.]
... Master, are you worried that you will forget about this place once you leave it? Well -- given your abilities, perhaps that will not be a concern for you...
[But for everyone else? It's a thought that has passed her mind on more than one occasion.]
...I don't think so. I've been thinking about it for a while and it's one of those things where they're still my memories and I'm tired of those being erased. The Decision Game always erased ours, too, but once we broke the cycle all of our memories came back.
But at the same time I know myself. Just like with Akane, I would spend the rest of my life trying to find a way to reconnect with the people I've met. I'm going to find a way to save you. I want to find a way to stay with the people I've met. But I also know what my job is back home. I don't want to have to leave people behind and I'm not sure if that will be my choice to make yet or not. Does that make sense?
[... She can't deny that if she were less fond of him, if their bond was weaker, she'd come to the same conclusion as Akane -- that Junpei is better off not remembering for his own sake, even if it would cause him pain for the rest of his life.]
Mm, it does. There is no way to be certain of what lies ahead of us, even once we find a way off the ship. I still don't understand what power could have brought me here, Masterless, along with the rest of you from such different realities.
[And there is always the possibility that power will not be merciful. Winning their right to live does not necessarily equate to ever seeing each other again. Even the bell she gave Junpei might be just a trinket in the end, nothing more than something to remember her by. Her expression pinches with a sigh.]
We've only a few more days to get everything ready... we'll have to hope for the best.
I'm still trying to understand why we're all here. What brought this particular group of people here, and how. [He frowns.] We know the ritual is coming but after that...we don't know what will happen to us.
[He looks at the ceiling.] ...what do you want to do until then? With our time left and the people left.
[She's grinning now, and glances in Junpei's direction]
Did you know Wu Wexian-san had the nerve to scold me? Both him and Kagachi-san, when the two of us were not on speaking terms. Something about I shouldn't waste time being mad when this time is all I might have left with you and the others.
[A light shrug]
Truthfully, I will continue doing as I always have -- striving to enjoy myself and looking after my Master. The lifespan of a Heroic Spirit is measured in hours and days, usually, not years. That I remain here at all is a miracle...
And I suppose I do not mind being around this particular group of humans and swords.
...that doesn't surprise me, given Wei Wuxian came to me when we were arguing, too. [He looks a little amused.] On the other hand I can't say I entirely disagree. We don't know what's next.
I don't think it's a bad thing to enjoy yourself, for what it's worth. [Just throwing that out there.] ...you're still getting along with the others then?
Ah, yes. I sent him over to check on you. You're so thin already, I didn't want you missing meals.
[They're not fighting anymore so might as well admit it!]
And to my utter surprise... yes, I suppose I am getting along with everyone.
[No one sounds more surprised than Tamamo by this development. She huffs a sigh]
Some more than others, naturally, but I cannot remember a time in my life that I remained fond of anyone outside of a Master. It almost moves me to forgiveness~
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But--]
Somehow, your amusement at my expense is almost worse, but I will accept your humor with grace and dignity nonetheless.
[Flopping further onto the floor, sighing]
And how did you know about the love potion bottle, eh? Did Chuuya-san tattle on me?
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No, you just confirmed for me. [A smile.] You handed in the bottle to Chuuya in the lounge because that's where we're supposed to go for evidence. You just told me that you and Grune have sudden feelings for each other after eating cookies that Taako made. And I know there're love potions floating around so I put two and two together.
[:)]
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The worst]
Just because you're exceedingly clever doesn't mean you get to lord it over me, you realize! Why did Taako-san even have such a loaded potion like that lying around! Those topple dynasties, and yet he was planning to hand them out during tomorrow's trial!
[...]
Make no mistake, I am also tempted to do the same thing, just so everyone gets a taste for how this feels.
[STOP HER]
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[A shrug.] Anyway if I had to guess, it was a bingo reward. That's where I got mine.
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[A disgruntled sigh.]
Hmph, fine. I will refrain from sharing Taako-san's efforts unless Grune-sama beats me to it... at which point, we are all well and truly damned, I suppose.
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[Helpful!]
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[Nodding to herself. Yes, this is good]
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You wouldn't anyway, I think, because you'd want me to be happy if I ever did find an appropriate suitor or whatever. And besides it wouldn't change how I felt about you.
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[She in turn seems to still and then blow out a sigh that's one part's irritable but deep down, perhaps amused]
You are truly insufferable as a cat, Master.
[Swiping one of her tails against his nose]
In your case, yes, as I've already been conditioned to share -- that is correct.
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...technically, you're already sharing with Akane in some version of some timeline.
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[Yeah deadass Tamamo finding out about Akane early on was
probably the best thing that happened for them
in regards to Tamamo's jealous tendencies]
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Good point. [...] There are a lot of versions of me who never ended up with her. There are some versions of me who never found her, or one of us died, or she erased my memories and I spent my whole life probably looking for her again. [He looks at her for a moment.] I think even though I have, had, and always will love her no matter which version of myself I am, I think there's probably the potential for me to care about other people, too. I want the ending I want with her, but...sometimes I wonder if we both would think the same thing.
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She erased your memories... [Tamamo's eyebrows knit in vague disapproval, though her gaze also softens.] Well, I tried to push you away for perhaps similar reasons... I have no right to judge her.
[Junpei needs to stop having a type]
If there is but even one ending where you two are together and happy, I don't doubt it is the ending she herself craves... that said, I do not think it is a crime to have other existences where you end up with other people.
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But...he nods.] She said yes when I asked her to marry me right before that, so I want to believe that. But....I have been trying to figure out what version of myself I am for a while. I'm not the same one who showed up here. And I won't be the same one when I go back. Maybe I'm overthinking but I can't stop thinking about it anyway.
For all I know those other versions don't really exist anymore but all of those memories still do. I don't know if I'm making sense.
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Strictly speaking, you will always be the newest version of yourself, yes? Every decision you make that affects yourself and others, is perhaps a path another Junpei has not taken. It is the same for me as well, and everyone else.
[...]
To me, memory itself is proof of existence. Even if one dies... well. [A gesture to herself. She's "dead" but has come back many times, in many forms] It still means there was a timeline where those events happened.
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"We exist, therefore we know we exist." It basically means that all we can really know to be true now is what we know in the present, but with a lot of versions of myself and all of my memories, everything that happened here has to be true.
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[She sounds amused, at least, at the tenacity of humans to disregard everything for their own survival.]
... Master, are you worried that you will forget about this place once you leave it? Well -- given your abilities, perhaps that will not be a concern for you...
[But for everyone else? It's a thought that has passed her mind on more than one occasion.]
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It's more like I'm worried everyone else will forget...and that me remembering will cause more problems.
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[Personally, she does not see any negatives besides the weight it might put on his soul, but that's enough reason to be concerned.]
If you could forget, would you? Knowing that you might be the only one to remember.
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But at the same time I know myself. Just like with Akane, I would spend the rest of my life trying to find a way to reconnect with the people I've met. I'm going to find a way to save you. I want to find a way to stay with the people I've met. But I also know what my job is back home. I don't want to have to leave people behind and I'm not sure if that will be my choice to make yet or not. Does that make sense?
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Mm, it does. There is no way to be certain of what lies ahead of us, even once we find a way off the ship. I still don't understand what power could have brought me here, Masterless, along with the rest of you from such different realities.
[And there is always the possibility that power will not be merciful. Winning their right to live does not necessarily equate to ever seeing each other again. Even the bell she gave Junpei might be just a trinket in the end, nothing more than something to remember her by. Her expression pinches with a sigh.]
We've only a few more days to get everything ready... we'll have to hope for the best.
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[He looks at the ceiling.] ...what do you want to do until then? With our time left and the people left.
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[She's grinning now, and glances in Junpei's direction]
Did you know Wu Wexian-san had the nerve to scold me? Both him and Kagachi-san, when the two of us were not on speaking terms. Something about I shouldn't waste time being mad when this time is all I might have left with you and the others.
[A light shrug]
Truthfully, I will continue doing as I always have -- striving to enjoy myself and looking after my Master. The lifespan of a Heroic Spirit is measured in hours and days, usually, not years. That I remain here at all is a miracle...
And I suppose I do not mind being around this particular group of humans and swords.
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I don't think it's a bad thing to enjoy yourself, for what it's worth. [Just throwing that out there.] ...you're still getting along with the others then?
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[They're not fighting anymore so might as well admit it!]
And to my utter surprise... yes, I suppose I am getting along with everyone.
[No one sounds more surprised than Tamamo by this development. She huffs a sigh]
Some more than others, naturally, but I cannot remember a time in my life that I remained fond of anyone outside of a Master. It almost moves me to forgiveness~
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