NIKKARI;

[crashout]

Comments

[uncleanse]

[ real talk, he's going to be so sad when they lose the animal parts at the end of the week... there's something really nice about still being able to touch with a tail when his hands are occupied.

against all odds, nikkari continues to keep the kiss chaste, tongue staying put in his own mouth instead of trying to find the quickest possible way into junpei's. when he finally does move, it's to pull away a little, but certainly not much; his lips still brush against junpei's as he murmurs, ]

You're welcome, by the way.

[crashout]

[Spoilers we're in endgame and we're just stuck as furries. Anyway he's 100% down with the chaste kiss, relaxed and comfortable even when Nikkari pulls away. Please don't mind him trying to follow with his mouth for a moment.]

Guess you really do just tell me the things that matter.

[uncleanse]

[ oh, he definitely doesn't mind. but even as calm as he's being right now, he's still nikkari, and that means he's still going to tease by moving back just a little to make junpei chase him more. ]

Haha... did you doubt me?

[crashout]

[He definitely tries to chase him? Come back what the fuck. But there's a look that's a little uncertain and a little melancholy when he replies.]

The last ghost I chased, I followed for a year. And when I finally caught it, I still didn't get the answers I wanted the most when I asked. [A shrug. ] ...I think I'm always going to doubt things for a while for the rest of my life...at least until those things are proven true.

[uncleanse]

[ hm. that... isn't the response he was expecting. it gets him to still, at least, as he keeps a neutral expression on his face. he merely takes in junpei's for a moment before quietly saying, ]

You know, ghosts aren't used to being the ones who are chased. Perhaps that's why you didn't get what you were searching for. But I am a sword, Junpei, not a ghost. Does that change anything?

[ there's a second's hesitation before he reaches for junpei's hand. ]

We exist, therefore we know we exist.

[crashout]

[Part of him wants to say he got it eventually. Part of him wants to dissect everything he's saying and explain to Nikkari what he really means. But there's the selfish part of him that knows Akane's secrets are hers, just like Nikkari's are his. It's why he takes that hand and the grip is a little tight like he's grounding himself, or as a way to say he's listening.

The echo of his own words parroted back at him renders a small smile though. ]

Of course you'd throw that back at me. [He doesn't mind.] There are some versions of me who got what I wanted. And there are others who didn't. And I'm still not really sure which version of myself I am these days but I want this to be the version where I don't let things I want slip out of my hands again.

[He doesn't even necessarily mean it romantically, but the intent is there. His feelings for Nikkari are complicated to phrase but at least it's clear that they run pretty deep in some form or another. So that's something.]

[uncleanse]

[ there's a lot to take in there, most of which nikkari doesn't understand a goddamn word of. so instead of try to parse whatever junpei's talking about multiple versions of himself or what he even truly meant about the ghost comment earlier, he focuses on the one part he doesn't need any sort of further clarification on. ]

... As I said, I am a sword. As long as your grip is true—[ he squeezes junpei's hand back, ]—then Nikkari Aoe will be by your side.

[crashout]

[...he sort of laughs and ducks his head.] Have I ever been anything but true with you?

[uncleanse]

Why do you think I haven't let go?

[crashout]

I sort of figured you just liked holding my hand. [Listen.]

[uncleanse]

[ he just laughs before throwing most of his body weight at junpei so that they collapse in the pile of blankets. ]

[crashout]

[And down they go! Junpei falls backwards with a lapful of Nikkitty and blankets but at least they're nice and cozy? They can cuddle here, it's fine.]

You're sort of really big on touch, aren't you?

[uncleanse]

[ just cuddles now!!! ]

Haha... so is it "sort of" or "really"? You would think those two would cancel each other out.

[crashout]

In your case? It's "really" because I don't know if you know how to do things in moderation.

[uncleanse]

How rude. I'm perfectly capable of self-control.

[crashout]

You literally just threw yourself at me, are you sure about that?

[uncleanse]

...

[ attempts to place his hand on the ground rather than on junpei's lap, as if he's getting ready to get up ]

[crashout]

[He's quickly wrapping his arms around Nikkari's waist. Nope! Just kidding!]

[uncleanse]

[ he immediately goes slack in junpei's arms, turning over as he goes down like he's presenting his belly. catte ]

Haha... perhaps it's you who needs to work on his self-control, hm?

[crashout]

[Catte!! He lets one hand rest on Nikkari's abdomen then, fingers drumming a little. ]

I've had pretty poor impulse control since I was a kid, too. [He is well aware he needs self-control but no he does not want to right now. ]

[uncleanse]

[ the laugh he lets out is more genuinely mirthful than teasing, for once, as is the hand he brings up to rest against junpei's cheek. ]

Haha... it sounds fun to have been a child.

[crashout]

[He'll lean into that, thanks.]

It was a lot easier, at least. I sort of miss it. [You know, when shit was normal.] I always forget that spirits never really had a childhood or anything. You guys just sort of...pop into existence.

[uncleanse]

Mm. I suppose you could think of the first few years following my smithing as something similar to a childhood, and perhaps the earning of my name could be considered my coming of age... but I, as myself, as Nikkari Aoe, have always just been.

[ his free hand goes over his chest as his tail flicks absentmindedly. ]

Haha... I'm sure this must sound so strange to you.

[crashout]

It definitely sounds a little strange, yeah. [He'll just pet Nikkari's torso while he talks.] Mostly because everyone I know has years of memories but from different parts of their lives. And those memories tend to make up who the person is, so to just "be" is an interesting thought.

[uncleanse]

It's not as if that isn't the case for us, too, you know. My colleagues and I also have memories that distinguish us from one another. I will concede, though, that being granted these human forms has certainly also helped...

[ ... he trails off there to start purring as junpei continues to pet him. ]